In many countries children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays the
obesity
among young citizens of the countries is becoming a genuine concern that the government should take actions in order to prevent
this
issue. The advocates of
this
view argue that the responsibility lies with the state. I agree with
this
statement to a moderate extent,
however
, I
also
think that family members play an indispensable role in reducing overweight.
To begin
with, rising the number of childhood
obesity
is somehow guilt of governments.
For example
, there are not ample legislative measures in the advertisement of the fast-
foodfood
Correct your spelling
food food
industry that claims their food is as healthy as homemade one.
Hence
citizens prefer consuming
such
kinds of easy-made foods which are both delicious and affordable price.
However
,junk foods are rife with harmful substances that have relevant consequences for getting obese. Countries that do not have any restrictions about
such
products should contribute to diminishing youngers'
obesity
by introducing some policies on fast food adverts or adopting rules to prevent to spread of junk food trends.
Moreover
,in a real society, the authority should take care of the offsprings' health, considering that they will be a country's bright future.
For instance
, if there are a great number of unhealthy generation, they have to take regularly financial aid from the government
instead
of working and introducing new innovations which can enhance the development of the country.
On the other hand
, family factors have
also
a huge impact on children's overweight. One of the examples adding to support of
this
issue is that an unhealthy environment of the family can increase the risk of childhood
obesity
. What I mean by
this
is that some children overeat to cope with stressful problems or to fight boredom appeared by inattentiveness.
This
situation is a piece of evidence of why parents are responsible to tackle youngers'
obesity
. Parents should be accountable for the healthy maturing of their children. In conclusion,
although
the government absolutely have responsibility for the
obesity
of the youth, I consider that parents have an equal obligation on
this
matter.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: