In many countries children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

Nowadays the

obesity

among young citizens of the countries is becoming a genuine concern that the government should take actions in order to prevent

this

issue. The advocates of

this

view argue that the responsibility lies with the state. I agree with

this

statement to a moderate extent,

however

, I

also

think that family members play an indispensable role in reducing overweight.

To begin

with, rising the number of childhood

obesity

is somehow guilt of governments.

For example

, there are not ample legislative measures in the advertisement of the fast-

foodfood

Correct your spelling

food food

industry that claims their food is as healthy as homemade one.

Hence

citizens prefer consuming

such

kinds of easy-made foods which are both delicious and affordable price.

However

,junk foods are rife with harmful substances that have relevant consequences for getting obese. Countries that do not have any restrictions about

such

products should contribute to diminishing youngers'

obesity

by introducing some policies on fast food adverts or adopting rules to prevent to spread of junk food trends.

Moreover

,in a real society, the authority should take care of the offsprings' health, considering that they will be a country's bright future.

For instance

, if there are a great number of unhealthy generation, they have to take regularly financial aid from the government

instead

of working and introducing new innovations which can enhance the development of the country.

On the other hand

, family factors have

also

a huge impact on children's overweight. One of the examples adding to support of

this

issue is that an unhealthy environment of the family can increase the risk of childhood

obesity

. What I mean by

this

is that some children overeat to cope with stressful problems or to fight boredom appeared by inattentiveness.

This

situation is a piece of evidence of why parents are responsible to tackle youngers'

obesity

. Parents should be accountable for the healthy maturing of their children. In conclusion,

although

the government absolutely have responsibility for the

obesity

of the youth, I consider that parents have an equal obligation on

this

matter.

Submitted by uluga2002 on Tue Feb 01 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

337 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventive measure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, chldren are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that products should be made to last as long as possible, while others believe making the products cheap is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction crime dramas?