IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #responsibility #governments #care #environment #citizens
There is a huge debate about who should be responsible
of
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 the environmental aspect in a country.
This
 discussion has evolved into two different groups
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
first
 believes that the government should be the one who
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
cares
Fix the agreement mistake
care
show examples
 of the plant, while
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 believes that it is the
individuals’s
Remove the s
individuals’
show examples
 responsibility.
This
 essay will examine both sides of
this
 argument in will following paragraphs I agree with the former. On one side, there is a group
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 thinks that a regime should take the call when it comes to any issue related to
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 citizens. The main reason why
this
 group believes that
people
 should blame the authority regarding
calutaving
Correct your spelling
calculating
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
, clean water, and climate.
Thus
, the
cabint
Correct your spelling
cabinet
 must protect and serve
people
.
Moreover
, another reason why an individual has the belief that authorities must take charge of
Correct pronoun usage
their surrounding
show examples
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
 is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
 they have an abundance of resources and labour.
As a result
, because a regime has these advantages,
people
 should be blamed
its
Change preposition
for its
show examples
 authority if there is an increase in the CO2 level in the air.
On the other hand
, there is a consensus that has the notion that
people
 should give their hand to
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
; in fact, they should take the role of maintaining, protecting, and enhancing the green aspect. The main reason why a consensus argues that
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 should be blamed in the
first
 place
if
Add a missing verb
is if
show examples
 a country had a negative impact
such
 as climate change.
Furthermore
, even if a regime has a plethora of
manpowers
Correct your spelling
manpower
, it would be impossible to clean every street, river, or even
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
forest.
Although
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
governments
Change the determiner
government
show examples
 plays
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 fighting climate change,
people
 should try to collaborate with
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 on
this
 mission. Not to mention, that it is crucial for someone to be aware of
this
problamtic
Correct your spelling
problematic
. In conclusion, I believe that both sides have merits. On balance,
however
, it is my opinion that households should take the charge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 everything related to nature,
habitate
Correct your spelling
habitat
, and lands.
This
 is to say that living in the consumerism era
people
 are the main source of
this
 conundrum.
Submitted by kofaisal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental protection
  • grassroots movements
  • community-led initiatives
  • policy implementation
  • regulations
  • funding
  • innovative solutions
  • collective effort
  • advocate
  • enforce laws
  • energy-efficient
  • reduce waste
  • recycling
  • sustainable outcomes
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!