In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In our new age of independence, a notion is spreading widely among the young society to have a one-year break between secondary school and university, for the purpose of either having leisure

time

Use synonyms

or gaining experience. I assume that there are more disadvantages than

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

advantages. There are at least two significant reasons why the youth advocate that it is wholesome to have a break

time

Use synonyms

firstly

Linking Words

, they presume that it could be one the best opportunities in their life to gain experience in their related field and to prepare themselves for their educational future.

For instance

Linking Words

, I know someone who is working for a mega shop as an accountant owing to the fact that he desires to enrol for an accounting major.

Thus

Linking Words

, it is considered the best option for him.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, all of the children passed a

long-way

Correct your spelling

long

show examples

path to end school

time

Use synonyms

, and they deserve a little

time

Use synonyms

to travel in order to rest and alleviate their stress, which was accumulated over these years. Facing mental disease and revealing reluctance to continue their career are the ramifications of lacking pastime.

On the other hand

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

it could not be true for everyone, I believe that it has numerous detrimental, namely loss of motivation and sticking to their current job.

First,

Linking Words

regarding fun

time

Use synonyms

, it would have dreadful effects on studying regularly. In my view,

this

Linking Words

break will mislead students to keep on having fun and show less attention to their

lesson

Fix the agreement mistake

lessons

show examples

Besides

Linking Words

, when a student, especially a boy, earns even too little money, it seduces him to lay off

Change preposition

from university

show examples

university

Change preposition

from university

show examples

, and do vocational jobs.

to conclude

Linking Words

whereas

Linking Words

going travelling and working is beneficial for a man, it could not be true for a student, who must focus on studying intensively and getting ready for his future, So I suggest that they should study constantly and forget to have fun for just a little another period.

Submitted by keivan on Tue Feb 01 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be strengthened by summarizing the key points and clearly stating your opinion. Connect the ideas more smoothly throughout the essay for better cohesion.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Nowadays more and more tasks at home and at work are being performed by robots. Why do you think it’s happening? Is it a negative or positive development?
In our computer age, computers are accomplishing a number of tasks at home and at work. While this technological advancement has a positive impact at home by saving time, it also affects the level of activity at the workplace.
6.5
band
In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In the minority of metropolitans, spaces in public are being utilized to build community gardens for inhabitants to grow their own plants. It is the opinion of this author that the benefit of protecting the environment is superior to the drawback of the lack of residence places.
5.5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
It is undeniable that today's technological advancement has evolved our quality of life and makes our lives easier. Among them, the diverless cars will be widely used in the future. On this matter, this development can bring both positive and negative impacts to individuals. From my perspective, this invention can offer more advantages than disadvantages.
4
band
Some people believe that universities should only recruit young people with good school grades. Others believe that everyone should be given a chance regardless their age and school marks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The importance of grading which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming it is beneficial while others oppose this notion. A majority of society favours that getting admission will depend on the school grades, while the substantial influence of this trend has sparked controversy over recent years. The following paragraph will highlight my perspective and thus lead to a logical conclusion.
4.5
band
Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.
It cannot be denied that most of the schools around the world allow children to use their phones during school time. On the other hand, some have not allowed it. Both views and my opinion will be discussed in the following essay.

Nowadays more and more tasks at home and at work are being performed by robots. Why do you think it’s happening? Is it a negative or positive development?

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehical will be passenger. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that universities should only recruit young people with good school grades. Others believe that everyone should be given a chance regardless their age and school marks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.