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Band 8.5

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #think #government #responsibility
It is true that overweightness and unhealthiness of children are becoming considerably popular in many countries today. Some critics seem that it should be solved by the government.
Although
 I agree with
this
 statement, I cannot say it is not the parent's responsibility as well. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss my point of view in detail. There are several reasons why the state should be responsible for
this
 issue.
First
 and foremost, politics is to blame for encouraging the fast food industry which can cause childhood obesity. What I mean by
this
 is youngsters, mostly, prefer to consume fast foodstuff like hotdogs, pizzas, Cola Colas and etc. in their everyday life
that is
 extremely harmful to their health.
For instance
, my 4-year-old nephew manipulates me to purchase some Cola and crisps almost every day. That's why the government should discourage the manufacture of unhealthy products to confirm a healthy diet for youth.
However
, I would like to add some new ideas to
this
 argument. Together with the ministry, moms and dads should have the responsibility for a healthy lifestyle for their young generations. Adolescents usually tend to eat a fast snack as their mothers, because of their job responsibilities, are not free enough to cook useful meals for them.
Therefore
, they prefer their sons and daughters to buy junk cuisine
instead
. From my perspective, mothers or fathers should regulate the intake of unhealthy meals and try to feed the youngsters with fresh and beneficial things. In conclusion,
although
 the authority should take on responsibility for deterring childhood obesity, parents
also
 ought to take the initiative for their offspring's well-being.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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