In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government have the responsibility to change the situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many parts of the world, there are prominently increasing the number of young generations have been confronted with some problems that including both children's physical and mental issues. Most parents are advocating that governments should take the initiative to tackle the problem so that can make an effort on children’s physical and emotional well-being, Whereas other citizens contend that parents should assume the responsibility for children’s access to quality education and life. I prefer the former.
First
Linking Words
of all, authorities can import effective policies on resolving these institutions. Investing funds in paying attention to unhealthy children has its advantages both for individuals and societies. So it is reasonable to assume the responsibility for setting those laws that can foster social institutions to give priority to younger generations’ awareness of exercise and balanced diets.
For instance
Linking Words
, governments could encourage schools to set physics and nutritional standards for school canteens rather than ignore those children’s overweight, especially like their obesity and mental problems.
Besides
Linking Words
, high quality and availability of health care should be applied for those people who are in dangerous situations.
However
Linking Words
, those young children who are dropping into unhealthy diseases will trigger long waiting lists for access to some medical treatments, particularly those patients who are suffering from severe diseases,
such
Linking Words
as heart disease and cancer.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as a vital role in society, authorities should levy income taxes to break the cycle of unhealthy in citizens’ childhood, which can ensure publicly-funded health care under the operation of governments. In a nutshell, authorities all over the world should be duty-bound to take government intervention to cope with these types of social problems to release the press of societies.
Submitted by 121288576 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government intervention
  • junk food consumption
  • physical education (PE)
  • sporting facilities
  • subsidies
  • public health campaigns
  • balanced diet
  • parental supervision
  • nutritional education
  • meal planning
  • advertising regulations
  • socio-economic status
  • recreational facilities
  • personal responsibility
  • health education
  • long-term consequences
  • youth-led initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: