Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?

In today's world, it has been considered by some
people
that being at home or going outside is insecure. Personally, I believe that there are a number of causes,
as well as
solutions to
this
issue.
This
essay is meant to present them in order. On the one hand, I believe that there are two reasons that support their fears of being unsafe in both options. The first reason can be the unprotected territory in which a particular
person
lives
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or the environment of distrustful
people
.
For instance
, the
person
can live in a vulnerable district or have suspicious neighbours. The second reason can be a mental illness called Agoraphobia, a type of disorder in which you fear and avoid places or situations that might make you feel trapped or helpless.
People
with
this
disease are afraid of going out or even staying at home surrounded by others. As for solutions, I hope that these issues
should
Verb problem
will
show examples
be solved in different ways. The problem caused by the environment can be fixed by changing accommodation location and conditions.
For instance
, the
person
who feels awful and unsafe in a certain district
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can relocate to a better place. In terms of problems caused by disease, the solution can be just psychotherapy and appropriate treatment. In conclusion,
people
's fears related to unsafe and untruthfulness may be caused by many other reasons ,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
there are always appropriate ways to address them other than the problem
that is
caused by mental illness. In
this
case, the close
people
of the particular
person
play the main role
while
struggling with fears.
Submitted by Tsira on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more elaborative and effective in summarizing the main points.
Task Achievement
Ensure to include specific examples related to the reasons and solutions provided in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perceive
  • Threat
  • Crime
  • Fear
  • Accident
  • Natural disaster
  • Personal security
  • Trust
  • Authorities
  • Social isolation
  • Loneliness
  • Media
  • News coverage
  • Community safety measures
  • Personal security awareness
  • Transparency
  • Support networks
  • Community involvement
What to do next:
Look at other essays: