In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,many individuals tend to consume outside
food
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like Italian pizza,fast
food
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and biryani.these are the main reasons to cause
health
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problems
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as well as weight gain,
therefore
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some people claim that government should take measures to avoid these issues,but I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement.because it is our responsibility to protect our
health
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.
To begin
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with,these days,youngsters
are do
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do
show examples
not consume
Correct your spelling
homemade
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home made
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homemade
show examples
items.because they think that outside nourishment is very delicious compared to cooking
food
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at home,so it leads to some fitness
problems
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.
moreover
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,
by
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apply
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sitting at home continuously is
also
Linking Words
one reason to gain weight.
for instance
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,nowadays,technology is increasing by leaps and bounds with a lot of electronic gadgets
such
Linking Words
as computers,mobile phones,
therefore
Linking Words
children prefer to play video games on the phone
instead
Linking Words
of going out.it leads to
health
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problems
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like obesity and heart diseases.
furthermore
Linking Words
,during
lockdown
Add an article
the lockdown
a lockdown
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,software employees did not have a chance to go office,so at that time they use computers for the job purpose. On another hand,there are
also
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some measures to reduce these
problems
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.
firstly
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,parents do not allow their
offsprings
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offspring
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to eat unhealthy
food
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.because it contains more fat as well as low vitamins.
secondly
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,youngsters should be encouraged to play outdoor games in order to reduce weight gain.
additionally
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,individuals spend some time to do
excercise
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exercise
as well as
take
Wrong verb form
taking
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a diet.these days,many youngsters are addicted to smoking,it
is
Change the verb form
also leads
show examples
also
Linking Words
leads to
problems
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such
Linking Words
as cancer and tuberculosis,so government should ban the
ciggerates
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
.
for example
Linking Words
,according to the survey,most people
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
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from cancer due to
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
smoking,
thus
Linking Words
government take serious measures to avoid
this
Linking Words
. To conclude,
health
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is wealth,we can not reach our ambitions
Correct your spelling
without
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with out
Correct your spelling
without
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proper
health
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,so it is our responsibility to protect our
health
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it is an indispensable thing in everyone's life.
Submitted by anushachenna15 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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