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Band 5

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honor #kindness #trust
In the contemporary perspective, criteria’s which assess people level have a scheme of materialistic approach and is based on social power as well as multiple
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
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 of possessions. Social ethics that can emerge as loyalty,
trustworthy
Replace the word
trustworthiness
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 and being generous had lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 importance among
community
Add an article
the community
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. I’m of the opinion that being committed to moral
behavior
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behaviour
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 should be more
of
Change preposition
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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important.
To begin
 with, in the world we are living humans would consciously or unconsciously work for accumulating money,
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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 their budget as well as
looking
Wrong verb form
look
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 for
promotion
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promotions
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in
Change preposition
at
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 which level they are to enhance their name.
although
 these social
behaviors
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behaviours
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be an inter desire
is
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are
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 to gain more and more in
life
, is not better to be considered as an ultimate purpose.
In other words
, an ideal human characteristic can be based more on how positively they impact
on
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apply
show examples
society rather than things that are perishable.
Furthermore
, in comparison to the
amount
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number
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 of possessions
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 individual of society can have, mortality and ethics generally are more memorable and of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value.
This
 is due to the reason that humans belongings sooner or later will
lost
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lose
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,
however
, others in most cases remind a positive picture of a person. To explain more on
this
, nelson Mandela former president of
south
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South
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 Africa had
fight
Wrong verb form
fought
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 through many fears to bring justice and peace for its nation, having spent prison for prolonged what differentiate him was his activities for people rights
also
 his nation admire his
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
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 deeds. To encapsulate, some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of people in their way of living are obsessed with what
what
Remove the redundancy
apply
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they can gain from mortal
life
. they assume it can bring fortune in all phases of
life
.
nevertheless
, If
each
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
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 follow
rewardable
Correct article usage
a rewardable
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 prescription, they can have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
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life
 in the community,
thus
,
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
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 them to
prosperous
Replace the word
prosper
show examples
.
Submitted by mary.zadegan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Materialism
  • Social status
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honor
  • Kindness
  • Integrity
  • Consumerism
  • Superficiality
  • Ephemeral
  • Philanthropy
  • Prosperity
  • Altruism
  • Narcissism
  • Humility
  • Empathy
  • Ethics
  • Moral compass
  • Minimalist
  • Contentment
  • Material possessions
  • Status symbol
  • Wealth disparity
  • Moral bankruptcy
What to do next:
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