IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honor #kindness #trust
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the contemporary perspective, criteria’s which assess people level have a scheme of materialistic approach and is based on social power as well as multiple
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of possessions. Social ethics that can emerge as loyalty,
trustworthy
Replace the word
trustworthiness
show examples
 and being generous had lost
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 importance among
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. I’m of the opinion that being committed to moral
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 should be more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the world we are living humans would consciously or unconsciously work for accumulating money,
saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
 their budget as well as
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 for
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 which level they are to enhance their name.
although
Linking Words
 these social
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be an inter desire
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 to gain more and more in
life
Use synonyms
, is not better to be considered as an ultimate purpose.
In other words
Linking Words
, an ideal human characteristic can be based more on how positively they impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society rather than things that are perishable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in comparison to the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of possessions
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 individual of society can have, mortality and ethics generally are more memorable and of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value.
This
Linking Words
 is due to the reason that humans belongings sooner or later will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, others in most cases remind a positive picture of a person. To explain more on
this
Linking Words
, nelson Mandela former president of
south
Change the capitalization
South
show examples
 Africa had
fight
Wrong verb form
fought
show examples
 through many fears to bring justice and peace for its nation, having spent prison for prolonged what differentiate him was his activities for people rights
also
Linking Words
 his nation admire his
human kind
Correct your spelling
humankind
show examples
 deeds. To encapsulate, some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of people in their way of living are obsessed with what
what
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
they can gain from mortal
life
Use synonyms
. they assume it can bring fortune in all phases of
life
Use synonyms
.
nevertheless
Linking Words
, If
each
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
 follow
rewardable
Correct article usage
a rewardable
show examples
 prescription, they can have
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 in the community,
thus
Linking Words
,
lead
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
 them to
prosperous
Replace the word
prosper
show examples
.
Submitted by mary.zadegan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Materialism
  • Social status
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honor
  • Kindness
  • Integrity
  • Consumerism
  • Superficiality
  • Ephemeral
  • Philanthropy
  • Prosperity
  • Altruism
  • Narcissism
  • Humility
  • Empathy
  • Ethics
  • Moral compass
  • Minimalist
  • Contentment
  • Material possessions
  • Status symbol
  • Wealth disparity
  • Moral bankruptcy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: