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Band 4.5

Some people think young people should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #education #years
Several representatives of modern society deem that adolescents should be enrolled in full-time education after 18 years old. I agree with
this
 statement undoubtedly and am going to provide my own view of
such
 an issue and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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provide strong arguments, which confirm my core position. On the one hand, we can observe that a plethora of current freshmen are juveniles.
Moreover
, they enrol in full-time education and study
such
 as other students. I suppose that
such
 a tendency exerts an adverse impact and triggers certain repercussions. At
first,
young students can encounter troubles with university subjects because of their early age.
For instance
, teenagers can not understand psychology.
Hence
,
such
 misunderstanding may provoke wrong notions about human relationships and humanity
overall
.
Secondly
, juveniles often study what they do not prefer.
Consequently
, they can have problems with future occupations.
On the other hand
, teenagers can choose various programs or internships after school.
For instance
, universities can provide courses for juveniles, which
afford
Verb problem
allow
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 them to realise what
is
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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job they prefer.
Likewise
,
such
 courses can prepare them to be a student and to be a participant in student life. In order to be in comfort and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not undergo problems with studies, I contemplate that
such
 programs can assist the young generation substantially and they can not make a mistake.
To sum up
, I would stress that having made these points, it is true that
such
 a tendency incurs criticism.
Nonetheless
, only parents must decide
upon
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for themselves when their offspring will be ready for university.
Submitted by sunsistem123 on

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task response
Provide a clear position and address both sides of the argument to show a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use linking words and cohesive devices to connect ideas.
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