IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #sports #event #country
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I agreed when a
country
Use synonyms
 becomes a
host
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 in an international
event
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. of ,course there is advantage and disadvantage to
this
Linking Words
 topic . the advantage
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 becoming a
host
Use synonyms
 is the other
country
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 who join to participate
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 competition will know more about that county who becomes a
host
Use synonyms
.
however
Linking Words
 as a
host
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 in
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international sports events that you can show or introduce something about your
country
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for example
Linking Words
 introduce the traditional food, clothes, tourist attraction,etc. after becoming a
host
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 and introducing our traditional food, clothes, tourist attraction,etc. many foreign people will get interested to
come
Add the preposition
tocome
show examples
 your county and it will help a
country
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 to increase the economy.
For example
Linking Words
. the most favourite place frequently visited by foreigners
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 Bali. there the Indonesian government always promote Bali as a beautiful place that must visit when coming to Indonesia.
although
Linking Words
 not only the benefit about being a
host
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 in an international sports
event
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 but
also
Linking Words
 there is a disadvantage about it. some people think that becoming a
host
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 is a bad idea because they think the facilities owned by the
host
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 county is not as good as overseas facilities and they think it will be embarrassing the
country
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that is
Linking Words
 becoming a
host
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 in an international sports
event
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many people think that if the overseas athlete
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 to the
country
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 who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a
host
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 it will make traffic jams in many places because we needed to prioritize the athletes
first
Linking Words
. For me, there is more benefit than disadvantage about being a
host
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 in an international
event
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 because the
competition
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
 spirit of the athletes who
host
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 an
event
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 will continue to become enthusiastic
Submitted by miarosmia8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • infrastructure
  • national pride
  • cultural showcase
  • inspire a generation
  • temporary boost
  • environmental concerns
  • sustainable planning
  • public funds
  • divert resources
  • tourism influx
  • job opportunities
  • sports development
  • public health
  • construction
  • strategic investment
  • global audience
  • hospitality
  • public services
  • cost-benefit analysis
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