IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Some individuals hold the opinion that
music
 can connect
people
 of different ages from different countries. I am definitely supportive of
this
 view. I will explain why I stand on
this
 point from the angles of
music
 of background and modern trend.
First
 of all, with no doubt,
music
 has been proven that its appearance is earlier than language based on scientific research.
This
 fact could strongly show us that
music
 is unique and widespread in terms of communication and unifying us together.
For example
, in some ancient tribes located in Africa and South America, the local inhabitants do not understand the language spoken by modern tourists, but they can seemingly understand the songs they sing.
This
 unusual story inspires me that
music
, to some extent, is used to hold
people
 together in ancient times. Another evidence that
music
 can help human beings know each other is eradicating the hostile status through banquets held by two nations, inevitably, peaceful
music
 will be played on that occasion. When it comes to modern society,
music
 enables
people
 to understand each other in different genders, ethnicities, religions, etc. I started to be interested in learning the history of American Blacks when I got in touch with hip-hop
music
 in high school. Not to mention that pop star, lady gaga, who claimed herself bisexual orientation, would
also
 allow us to know LGBT( lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual) groups because of her songs. In conclusion, whether in ancient times or modern societies,
music
 has always played a vital role in putting
people
 together no matter the cultures and ages.
That is
 why I totally agree with
this
 view.
Submitted by jason.jia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: