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Band 3

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment
The two presented maps describe the present conditions and the future prediction of
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
sports
centre
. Looking from an overall, readily apparent that the noticeable changes involved
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adding an extra public
area
, entertainment
area
, and
sports
 facility
area
. The majority of the
sports
 facility
area
 of the
sports
centre
, nowadays just has two
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
area
 which includes one pool
area
 and gym
area
, the
sports
area
 will redevelop for the future plans by adding another
sports
area
 including leisure pool in the west and dance studio
area
 in the east which replaced the outdoor courts.
Likewise
, in order to redevelop the
sports
 facilities,
University
 planned to build
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
show examples
 hall in the middle
sports
area
 as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 replacing outdoors courts.
Furthermore
, the gym
area
 will be expanded
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
recently
Correct article usage
the recently
show examples
 that
University
 has, it will be added more spaces to the east to make a gym
area
 larger than now. A similar improvement
also
 occurs in sequence to establishing more entertainment
area
 imply
sports
 shop and cafe in the south of the
sports
centre
. For the future
plans
Add a comma
,plans
show examples
 the
University
 is going to add more public
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
such
 as
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 more changing rooms in the
Add a hyphen
south-west
show examples
south west
Correct your spelling
southwest
show examples
 and in the
Add a hyphen
south-east
show examples
south east
Correct your spelling
southeast
show examples
.
University
sports
centre
 will be larger and include more facilities comprise by adding public
area
, entertainment
area
, and
sports
area
 to make the
sports
centre
 more friendly
ti
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 the students in
University
.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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