Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are mixed views as to the main purpose of school. Some people believe school's main goal is making good citizens and workers for modern
society
. In my view,
schools
should work for
students
' individual benefits.  On the one hand, the community might get advantages from school making them good members of
society
.
To begin
with,
students
will be adults because they grow up, and they will work as a part of
society
.
Thus
, the government invests a lot of money for education and children caring to make them better.
However
, if the
students
become bad citizens
such
as criminals or tax dodgers,
society
has to struggle with those issues.
Accordingly
, the community has to use their budget for those issues.
Therefore
, the community can
less
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
face those problems, if
schools
focus their education on making good adults.
However
,
schools
' main purpose is achieving
students
' benefits. It is
truet
Correct your spelling
true
that most people want dreams
come
Add the particle
to come
show examples
true,
thus
,
students
learn many subjects,
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
math, sciences and economy in their
schools
for future careers. they find their talents and interests in their
schools
for future careers.
Submitted by neinpair on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • shaping
  • developing
  • unique talents
  • potential
  • well-rounded
  • academic
  • social
  • emotional development
  • personal growth
  • contribute positively
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • individuality
  • happier and more fulfilled
  • strike a balance
  • preparing students for the workforce
  • nurturing
  • individual needs
  • pursue passions and interests
  • thrive
  • future professionals
  • community institutions
  • shape community values
  • foster civic engagement
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