IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

‘All children should learn to speak a foreign language as soon as they start school.’ How far do you agree with this proposal? How important is it for a child to learn a foreign language?

#‘all #children #language #school #child
Nowadays, we live in a globalized world in which learning a new
language
 has become one of the great concerns of every person. Personally, I feel that learning a foreign
language
 is
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 communication tool, and I will explain why.
Firstly
, to start kids off with foreign languages early is that
this
 increases the likelihood they will achieve fluency in adulthood.
That is
 to say that they will have far more years to perfect their skills and it will seem perfectly normal to speak bilingually.
For example
, compulsory lessons in a foreign
language
 normally start
at the end
 of primary school or the start of secondary school. In Luxembourg, Norway, Italy, Malta and Spain,
however
, the first foreign
language
 starts at age six, in Sweden at age seven and in Belgium at age 10.
Secondly
, learning a second
language
also
 provides many other benefits including greater academic achievement, greater cognitive development, and more positive attitudes towards other languages and cultures. Simply put,
language
 learning is necessary for students to effectively function in the modern marketplace. I do appreciate
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
those who oppose, saying that it is better to live
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the moment fullest like spending time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing games, coloring,
singing
Correct word choice
and singing
show examples
accordingly
.
While
 not learning a foreign
language
 is less pressure for kids, of course, I feel
this
 is a potentially unwise viewpoint, especially considering
it’s enhances
Change the verb form
it enhances
show examples
 the brain’s abilities. The benefits of
this
 approach appear to be overwhelmingly positive not just for personal development but
also
 for
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 development. On
balance
Add a comma
balance,
show examples
 the fact that early foreign
language
 learning leads to higher fluency and improved brain function clearly outweighs the basic kids’ activities
besides
 foreign
language
 learning.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: