Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #person #opportunity

It is argued that the good side of being rich is having an opportunity to help

others

. I completely agree with

this

statement for several reasons, which I explain below.

Firstly

, I would like to stay reasons to bein rich. Sure, many

people

try to earn more capital to buy expensive things,

such

as famous brans, other amenities and for travelling around the earth. But the most reason is to be a significant person and have

power

. They think money is all, and that they give to having influence and rule the world. Those crowd CHANGE THE DETERMINER crowds It appears that the plural demonstrative Those

Change the verb form

are

show examples

modifying the singular noun crowd. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun

instead

. show examples are with lower consciousness maybe. But it right with one hand is it will be used for a good cause. Despite the temptations of the world, there are

people

, who think not only about their wealth but

also

want to improve

this

world and help

others

Also

, there are many billionaires and millionaires who always doing

Add an article

a donation

the donation

show examples

donation

Fix the agreement mistake

donations

show examples

, even have their own charity organizations.

For example

, the Charity Fond of Bill and Melinda Gates. They always donate and help

others

Moreover

, many TV stars,

such

as actors, singers are engaged in charity work. To continue above pointed view, about use

power

of money for good causes, I would like to give an explain some stars, who are UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador. There are stars, they are rich and they are the ones who are an example for

others

. They can use their

power

to influence more

people

and help children. There are a lot of

such

examples. In conclusion, I completely support

this

claim, because I want to be rich too, to help

others

, to open factories, provide

people

with jobs and help vulnerable

people

to make them happy. It is the most advantage of having more capital and

power

Submitted by akzharkyn010191 on Mon Feb 07 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

10 paragraphs

322 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

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