Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Being a good
members
Correct the article-noun agreement
member
show examples
of society is an essential responsibility of every citizen. So that’s both
parents
and
school
play an important role in teaching and
nurture
Wrong verb form
nurturing
show examples
the kids because they spend most of their time at
school
and at home.
First
, children who haven’t got into
school
yet
is totally depend
Change the verb form
totally depend
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on their
parents
so the adults take most responsibility for nurturing and in studying them with bright and right thoughts. Because they have not known or learned anything from the
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
they are white papers so the instruction that older people gift to them will have a good or bad impact on their mind due to what we teach them. The following factor is for children who have already got into
school
.
This
finds
parents
to have to teach them at home
at home
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
,
school
always have the most
effect
Replace the word
effective
show examples
to the kids because the older they get, the more time they spend at
school
so
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
had to wholeheartedly teach students as well as satisfy the trust of their
parents
. They have to force the students to follow the rules seriously to put them in discipline and behave well.
Besides
, teachers at
school
need to be good patterns so the students will be the reflection of
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
teachers need to inspire the learning motivation and lead them to the right path to be
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
show examples
of society. If we’re lecturing to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
who
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
responsibility for the society and nation, our country will affirm its pioneering position on the path of international integration. Because of that, I believe that both
parents
and
school
shouldn’t blame their role and parts on the other. They are the main and have the most influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
them
Submitted by Eteacher on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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