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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
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Being a good
members
Correct the article-noun agreement
member
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 of society is an essential responsibility of every citizen. So that’s both
parents
Use synonyms
 and
school
Use synonyms
 play an important role in teaching and
nurture
Wrong verb form
nurturing
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 the kids because they spend most of their time at
school
Use synonyms
 and at home.
First
Linking Words
, children who haven’t got into
school
Use synonyms
 yet
is totally depend
Change the verb form
totally depend
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 on their
parents
Use synonyms
 so the adults take most responsibility for nurturing and in studying them with bright and right thoughts. Because they have not known or learned anything from the
social
Replace the word
society
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 they are white papers so the instruction that older people gift to them will have a good or bad impact on their mind due to what we teach them. The following factor is for children who have already got into
school
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 finds
parents
Use synonyms
 to have to teach them at home
at home
Remove the redundancy
apply
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,
school
Use synonyms
 always have the most
effect
Replace the word
effective
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 to the kids because the older they get, the more time they spend at
school
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 so
Use synonyms
school
Add an article
the school
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 had to wholeheartedly teach students as well as satisfy the trust of their
parents
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. They have to force the students to follow the rules seriously to put them in discipline and behave well.
Besides
Linking Words
, teachers at
school
Use synonyms
 need to be good patterns so the students will be the reflection of
them
Correct your spelling
the
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 teachers need to inspire the learning motivation and lead them to the right path to be
a good members
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good member
good members
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 of society. If we’re lecturing to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 who
take
Change the verb form
takes
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 responsibility for the society and nation, our country will affirm its pioneering position on the path of international integration. Because of that, I believe that both
parents
Use synonyms
 and
school
Use synonyms
 shouldn’t blame their role and parts on the other. They are the main and have the most influence
to
Change preposition
on
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 them
Submitted by Eteacher on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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