Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?
There is an endless debate about the income of celebrities.Some individuals believe that society supports too much to the welfare of that class of
people
.This
is my contention that the money that entertainers
receive is deserved for their efforts and the contribution they have given to the public.
It is acknowledged that citizens have to work hard before being able to be famous people
.To be specific, excluding genetic talent, most people
must go through a harsh process,and spend lots of time or money to master their aspects.Moreover
,obstacles that they have to cope with from their families or education systems are the considerable issues we need to mention.It is doubtful whether they will have a bright future and stable salaries for their entire life.It has been proven that 2Pac,a famous rapper,was obligated to work and compose songs simultaneously and exchanged his
valuable time for the future.As Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
case reveals, the more attempts celebrities have made, the more money they are going to own.
Another point worth considering is that some entertainers
are famous and have financial income due to
their donation
to society.Fix the agreement mistake
donations
While
it is undeniable that not all famous people
are jealous like some people
are thinking about them.It seems as if there is an increasing number of charities or helpful activities that are organised by celebrities and it has an enormous impact on the development of our ever-changing world.Therefore
,it is not hard to understand why advertising companies are encouraging people
to become entertainers
relying on the high welfare they may have.For instance
,Michael Jackson contributed a lot to the poverty families in America and it became an iconic moment that supported this
ideal.
To conclude
, entertainers
' income depends on the donations and attempts they have made.Additionally
,society needs to become more generous about this
debate.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Work on clearly and directly addressing both parts of the prompt: whether entertainers are paid too much and which other jobs should be highly paid.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and precision of your arguments. Avoid vague language and ensure each point is fully developed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly and logically from one idea to the next. Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points, reinforcing your stance without introducing new information.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly sets up the premise of the debate.
supported main points
Examples like 2Pac and Michael Jackson provide concrete evidence to support your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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