-Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

In
this
day and age, a growing number of students prefer to play video games
instead
of doing sports which is a problem. In the upcoming
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
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I'm going to explain why it happens and what should be done
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
issue.
Firstly
, computers and smart gadgets are being used by a growing number of people since they getting more
afordable
Correct your spelling
affordable
worldwide so every member of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
can have their own handheld gadget which makes
available
Correct pronoun usage
it available
show examples
for them to play any time they want. s
Submitted by Amir Fakoori on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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