Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.

#children #lifestyle #schools #parents

Nowadays a considerable amount of

children

have unhealthy life way.

Education

Add an article

The education

show examples

system and parents have to make attempt to solve

this

problem. Childhood is the most important life period which we must try to enlarge some fruitful habits. There is no doubt that one of them is

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle. It seems that heir's lifestyle has been literally changed.

In particular

, parents because do not have enough time don't care about it.

Hence

children

and teenagers waste plenty of time for an unusual

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

such

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

playing digital games and sitting on

chair

Add an article

a chair

the chair

show examples

Additionally

, they gain a lot of calories without

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

actively.

Base

Wrong verb form

Based

show examples

on fact, over

this

decade

offspring

Add the comma(s)

,offspring

show examples

have been wasting plenty of their own time on social networks and they have done less exercise than what they did over

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

twenty years.

Moreover

, not only

children

have been becoming fattier but

also

some diseases related to overweight have expanded among them.

Furthermore

, in

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

children

used to eat

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

homemade

food

more than they do now.

Thus

, they gain

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

celeries and more fruitful nutrients which cause them

were

Change the verb form

to be

show examples

healthy. Another factor affecting

children

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

is consuming junk

food

with trans- oil. Particularly,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

junk

food

is completely impact

Change the verb form

is completely impacting

show examples

on hearth's performance. A great deal of importance is educating to use less high calories'

food

for

children

could reduce

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

of them especially if it does by teachers.

For example

, teaching over healthy

food

like fruit or

whole grain

Add a hyphen

whole-grain

show examples

bread and homemade

food

could encourage

children

to use them more. In conclusion, if these manners continued,

children

would become more unhealthy.

Hence

, teachers and parents have to help each other to tackle

this

problemcompletely

Correct your spelling

problem completely

Submitted by ahad.dana on Mon Feb 07 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

278 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

unhealthy lifestyle
growing concern
crucial role
addressing this issue
promote healthy habits
educational programs
physical activities
establish healthy routines
nutritious meals
collaboration

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Dear Sir or Madam,

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem.

Fully explain your ideas

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

All cars that bruns fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them Do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

Write about the following topic: With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

In some places, teenagers are encouraged to get part-time job while they are still in school. Do the advantages of teenagers working outweigh the disadvantages ?