IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars? .

#cars #people
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There is no denying the fact that
cars
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
remarkable benefits in
this
Linking Words
 modern life
however
Linking Words
 it has an unacceptable impact on society because of their constant use of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will examine several reasons and solutions for these vehicles. Most of the citizens use
cars
Use synonyms
 as a transporting method, which is effortless for them. ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 they might don’t know the drawbacks and the issues that it causes. One of these problems is air pollution , most of the transportation ways
such
Linking Words
 as motor produce toxic gases that
harms
Change the verb form
harm
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 the environment and the living things.
Moreover
Linking Words
, modern ways to travel and drive led to an inappropriate and alarming problem which is over depending on
cars
Use synonyms
 so that will cause obesity as a consequence of less movement. To illustrate according to a recent questionnaire was posted on a well-known platform that included 95 individuals who are suffering from obesity, 85 of them was const using their car, in other word
cars
Use synonyms
 will be helpful to the nation if it wasn’t overused.
In addition
Linking Words
, to solve these problems, governments should encourage people to cycle and walk more, by investing in pathways and walking areas, not by discouraging and scaring them from
cars
Use synonyms
. ,
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 the
also
Linking Words
 should make the experience of using local transportation more memorable and enhance its quality in numerous ways. If buses and trains were developed in some significant aspects,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 would be more useful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To conclude
with
Change preposition
apply
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, wagon
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a sizeable amount of privileges but we should be aware of its negative impact on the environment and the nation. ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 we can particularly lessen its weak points by reducing
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 it.
Submitted by Batool03121 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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