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Band 4.5

Some people believe that purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #education #society #individuals #ambitions
It is often said that children benefit from
education
 is to improve their environment , especially in today's
technology focused
Add a hyphen
technology-focused
show examples
 world.
However
, the issue is not entirely straightforward, there are
also
 many peoples who argue
this
view
, and they believe the benefit was to complete their desires.
This
 essay will discuss the debate
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and give a concluding
view
. Generally speaking,
education
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 priority for all countries.On the one hand, human beings who support the
view
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 learning
education
 is for to provide their society cite students who completed their schooling will help their environment. These
ranges
Fix the agreement mistake
range
show examples
 from villages to urban.
For example
, persons who are excellent in teaching can teach the new generation, without
accept
Replace the word
accepting
show examples
 money.
This
 was followed by engineering, construction like temples and bridges are built by engineers with perfect opinions. After that some people volunteer at
orphanage
Fix the agreement mistake
orphanages
show examples
 free of charge, sometimes they donate money.
By contrast
,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who
be
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 of the opinion that learning aims to get humans goals
claim
Add the particle
to claim
show examples
 that in many cases, from studying, pupils get many opportunities to build
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
relationships with numerous
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of souls. In the
view
 of the
facts
Fix the agreement mistake
fact
show examples
 that they tend to communicate with a number of humans that makes their
further more
Correct your spelling
furthermore
show examples
 effective.
Furthermore
, the higher the
education
 level the
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier to get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 for business, following
this
 there are countless possibilities to receive a great of
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
. Overall, it would appear that both alternatives have convenient advantages
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
based on
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 choices.
However
, it is sensible to conclude that societies
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more important to ambitions according to the above ideas.
Submitted by thetpaingphuewaigracie on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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