Worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want.

7.0 / 9

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Introduction

While one think that

elders

Use synonyms

ought to retire after their sixties, others claim that they should have options. In my opinion, most of these

elders

Use synonyms

are professionals at their workplace, so it means, they are reliable and punctual which could help any company to grow up.

Body paragraph 1

First

Linking Words

of all, many employers believe that reliability and punctuality are keys to having a successful business. These keys might assist in having great deals only if employers keep working with their elder employees because they are very experienced.

For example

Linking Words

, dealing with some problems for young workers might be literally difficult, but many

elders

Use synonyms

know the exact ways to solve most issues due to their long journey at their workplace.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a business manager who is working for about 50 years knows a lot more than a young intern, which means, he or she could be taught by

elders

Use synonyms

to achieve not only their goals but

also

Linking Words

to know more about their field.

Body paragraph 2

Secondly

Linking Words

, the consideration of many workplaces is to have a good candidate who is disciplined in many ways.

However

Linking Words

, it might be too complicated to find

such

Linking Words

a person due to huge demand. Even though it is hard, it seems that many employers find a way how to solve it. The solution is to give an opportunity to

work

Use synonyms

with individuals after

retirement

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, they are not only enhanced their

work

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

disciplined and could be an example for others.

Thus

Linking Words

, experienced workers need everywhere even after their

retirement

Use synonyms

Conclusion

To summarize, the number of individuals who believe that workers after their

retirement

Use synonyms

should not

work

Use synonyms

is equal to people who think that all employees ought to be given chance to

work

Use synonyms

as much as they wish. I strongly think all experienced individuals who worked more than thirty years must

work

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even after their

retirement

Use synonyms

because they are reliable and punctual.

Ozy_boy

Feb 8, 2022

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

7.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

312 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
pension systems
social security
life expectancy
mental and physical well-being
active and engaged
mentorship
knowledge transfer
job opportunities
workforce
physical strength
workplace safety
healthcare costs
accommodation
financial strain

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