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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems can this situation create? What are the possible solutions?

In a
constantly-changing
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constantly changing
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 world these days, many
people
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 are making serious attempts to achieve a work-
life
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balance
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.
This
Linking Words
 ambition can be associated with some health problems, yet numerous feasible measures can be implemented to allow
people
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 to maintain a successful career and a happy family
life
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 simultaneously. It is undeniable that
people
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 are likely to suffer from physical and mental health deterioration. In terms of physical conditions,
people
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 can easily get exhausted when trying their best to gain a sense of fulfilment in both aspects. In fact,
people
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 are facing a higher risk of redundancy and unemployment, or they have to deal with a heavy workload on a daily basis to cover their essential expenses in a competitive job market. At the same
time
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, modern
people
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 need to complete many unnamed household chores and take care of their children.
In other words
Linking Words
, with a limited
time
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 of 24 hours,
people
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 may become physically weak over
time
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 if they push themselves to the limit so as to reach that goal.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, mental disorders
such
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 as stress or depression can probably be unavoidable.
In particular
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, succeeding in jobs and having a happy family
life
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 at the same
time
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 in
this
Linking Words
 era is quite challenging, and striving for it somehow makes
people
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 feel pressured.
However
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, in order to achieve
this
Linking Words
 goal, there are some possible solutions that should be taken into consideration. First of all, it is of vital importance for modern
people
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 to cultivate their
time
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 management and
organizational
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organisational
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 skills.
This
Linking Words
 is because a
well-organized
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well-organised
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 person can address all the tasks at work more efficiently and arrange everything in their house in place.
In other words
Linking Words
, they can still lead an admirable and comfortable
life
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 during the day.
Besides
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, regarding the roles of family members, husbands and wives should support each other to maintain a work-
life
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balance
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.
For instance
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, at the early stage of marriage, women can sacrifice their careers to become housewives
while
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 men will attempt to earn money to strengthen their financial conditions
as well as
Linking Words
 get themselves to prospective promotion chances.
As a result
Linking Words
, when their children grow up, men can spend more
time
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 with their family when they already have a stable status in society, and
women
Punctuation problem
women,
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Linking Words
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
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 can continue to follow their dream jobs and have successful careers. In conclusion, there is no doubt that maintaining a
balance
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 between occupational success and family
life
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 is a strong desire of many
people
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 nowadays.
Nevertheless
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,
such
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 an aim may lead to several physical and mental health problems. Having said that, with good
organizational
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organisational
show examples
 skills and sensible division
in
Change preposition
of
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 roles,
people
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 can still gain a work-
life
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balance
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.

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content
Add more real facts or events to back your ideas to make them stronger.
structure
Use more link words to show how ideas fit together and how you move from one idea to the next.
structure
Try to plan each paragraph to keep one main idea and explain it with a clear example.
content
Clear view on health and life at work.
structure
Good start and end with a clear finish.
content
You give many ideas on how to fix the problem.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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