IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. Discuss some of the effects of a high population density and suggest some ways on which this trend could be reversed. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#cities #world #rate #population #effects #density #trend
The superior amount of major cities
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 expanding,
as a result
 of
significant
Add an article
a significant
the significant
show examples
 level of
population
 movement.
This
isue
Correct your spelling
issue
 causes inevitable problems where the main is overcrowding.
Thus
, it should be tackled by means of creating convenient rural life conditions as soon as possible. The sharp increase of urban
population
 is
acute
Add an article
an acute
the acute
show examples
 question that
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
 be mostly concerned by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. Generally speaking, it is clear that
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 prevalence of
urba
Correct your spelling
urban
 areas is
surving
Correct your spelling
serving
surviving
 as a harmful effect to the citizens itself.
For instance
, the great
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of workers
leveling
Change the spelling
levelling
show examples
 up
competetivness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
 rate, so that majority of people cannot overcome
such
 obstacles. Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
social
factors
Add a comma
,factors
show examples
 it is worth
to consider
Change the verb form
considering
show examples
economical
Correct article usage
the economical
show examples
 effect. Because of
such
scaring
Replace the word
scary
show examples
population
 density, even high incomes might not be sufficient
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the bills of accommodations or any other expenses. Regarding the issues mentioned above, to solve them all
entirely
Change the adverb
entire
show examples
 government should provide
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
show examples
 of rural areas. From my point of view, people are most affected by the
attracting
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
 offers of living in the same conditions, including the income, but in more
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
 regions.
In addition
 to
this
, people are more tend to live as in silence as
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it
Add a verb
isit
wasit
show examples
 possible. To sum it up, the rocketing statistics of cities'
population
 pulls many additional subproblems, which should behold by the authority.
Submitted by aiganym.1999b on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: