IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.

The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried people in the US, and the effect of children on the overall ratings of married couples.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The charts below show the results of a survey on happiness ratings for married and unmarried
people
Use synonyms
 in the US
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and the effect of
children
Use synonyms
 on the
overall
Linking Words
 ratings of married
couples
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the first
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 it shows how married
people
Use synonyms
 are happier than unmarried
people
Use synonyms
, regardless of their
age
Use synonyms
. In the first
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 we can see that the happiest
age
Use synonyms
 group in which they are married are
people
Use synonyms
 aged between 18 and 29 years, but there is very little difference across the different
age
Use synonyms
 groups.
People
Use synonyms
 who aren’t married are generally less
happier
Change the word
happy
show examples
 than married
couples
Use synonyms
, but
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and over are happier than the other
age
Use synonyms
 groups but are still lower than married
couples
Use synonyms
. Among married
people
Use synonyms
, despite having
children
Use synonyms
 or not their rate of happiness is still quite constant. The trend is that married
couples
Use synonyms
 who have
children
Use synonyms
 under the
age
Use synonyms
 of 18 are shown to be a bit happier than
people
Use synonyms
 without
children
Use synonyms
 or who have
children
Use synonyms
 over the
age
Use synonyms
 of 18.
Overall
Linking Words
, the charts clearly illustrate that married
couples
Use synonyms
 are far happier than unmarried
people
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 is regardless of the
age
Use synonyms
 group or whether they have
children
Use synonyms
 or not, it is a constant trend.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, children, couples, age with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: