IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Since traveling abroad has become relatively inexpensive more countries are opening their doors for foreign tourists. Is it a positive or negative trend? Give your opinion and include relevant examples.

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Nowadays,people usually travel to foreign
nations
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 as moving abroad has become cheaper and
the
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countries
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 are providing visas without too many restrictions for travellers.I profoundly assert it is a positive trend because of multifarious factors like economic development and introducing skills to the region.
However
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,I would like to explicate my views in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,the first and foremost benefit is the circulation of
the
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money flows
fastly
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fast
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 in the economy because of the elevating number of tourists.It will not only diminish
unemployment related
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unemployment-related
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 issues but
also
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 it will improve the country's GDP.
For instance
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,the
countries
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 like Dubai
where
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apply
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the
tourism
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 sector plays a paramount role in regional development.
According to
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 a survey by the "International Agency of
Tourism
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" it was crystal clear that around 40% of the country's income is generated from the
tourism
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 sector.
For
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this
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 reason,
countries
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 have opened their doors and are promoting
tourism
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 that will act as a blessing for the nation and its denizens.
In addition
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 to it,the youngsters travelling to
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then
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apply
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developed
countries
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 often carry certain skills that will benefit some sectors of the nation in spite of providing educational loans the
nations
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 are giving huge rebates to attract the youth.
For example
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,in ,Canada they have opened their immigration department even in the pandemic and were providing numerous benefits to the students like unlimited part-time working hours.
As a result
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, their major
factory related
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factory-related
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 work and IT sector jobs were fulfilled by giving myriad benefits to the people outside their region. In conclusion,I certainly believe that in
this
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 contemporary
world
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world,
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 people are usually moving to the developed
nations
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 in search of better employment opportunities
as well as
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 it leads to the generation of income in the society.
Subsequently
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,different
nations
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 are promoting
tourism
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 in their
countries
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besides
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it
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they are providing several advantages to the youth that
makes
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make
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 it cheaper for the teenagers to settle in the country of their choice.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a fair level of coherence and cohesion with a logical structure. Work on improving the clarity of your introduction and conclusion. Additionally, ensure that your main points are fully supported with relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task and presented clear and comprehensive ideas. However, you should aim to include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
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