IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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Undoubtedly,
along with
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 the development of science and technology, more and more
countries
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 have relied on nuclear
power
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. In
this
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 regard, some people believe that nuclear
energy
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 is much more eco-friendly in comparison to other types of
energy
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. From my standpoint,
although
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 the benefits of nuclear
power
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 are undeniable, it could be considered a serious threat to the whole world. From an environmental point of view, nuclear
power
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 comes from chemical reactions which require a wide range of experiments by expert scientists,
otherwise
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, undesirable consequences could occur.
Hence
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, it is essential that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 implement some policies in place to protect humankind.
Additionally
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, the waste of the reactions mostly is dropped
to
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into
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 lakes or forests which are the natural
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
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 of animals.
It is clear that
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this
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 action can lead to
decreasing
Replace the word
a decrease in
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 the population of wildlife and increasing the number of endangered animals.
For example
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, the number of one species of fish, which was a source of income in the south of Iran, has extremely dropped
off
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apply
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after
Correct article usage
the constructing
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constructing
Replace the word
construction
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the
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of the
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 nuclear laboratory near the sea. From a political point of view, some
countries
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, especially developed nations, use nuclear
energy
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 as a weapon to control developing
countries
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.
This
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 authority can result in disparity among
countries
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 which could be the main reason for external wars.
Furthermore
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, in order to protect nuclear centres from unexpected events, governments allocate a huge amount of money to protect these areas.
However
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,
this
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 money could be better spent on developing solar
energy
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 which is environmentally friendly. To put it in a nutshell, with respect to the
whole
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apply
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views mentioned above, it is not acceptable to use nuclear
power
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 since it could be dangerous for nature and human beings.
Therefore
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, alternative
energy
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 sources should be developed to replace nuclear
power
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.

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task response
Task Response: Make sure to directly address the question in the introduction and clearly state your position. Develop more on the disadvantages of nuclear power, as the prompt asks for an analysis of both sides. Expand on how nuclear power can be a threat to world peace, as this is a key aspect of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Work on improving the flow of your ideas by using transition words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Review the organization of your essay to make it more structured and coherent.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Mutually assured destruction
  • Greenhouse gases
  • Cost-effective
  • Radiation therapy
  • Proliferation
  • Rogue states
  • Radioactive waste disposal
  • Catastrophic accidents
  • Climate change
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