Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Today

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation follows

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

people

Use synonyms

but nowadays, some entertainers are famous for their

lifestyle

Use synonyms

rather than their

talent

Use synonyms

.I partially agree with that.I believe not all celebrities are famed for their wealth,some are noted

Use synonyms

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their

talent

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

. Many

people

Use synonyms

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become a star

Use synonyms

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their natural

talent

Use synonyms

.In

bollywood

Change the capitalization

Bollywood

Hollywood

show examples

, Pankaj Tripathy, Navajuddin Siddiqui, Rajkumar Rao are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

examples of

this

Linking Words

. All these actors are

big

Add a hyphen

big-name

show examples

name

Fix the agreement mistake

names

show examples

just

Use synonyms

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their natural acting.These actors

are stay

Change the verb form

stay

show examples

away from glamour so young

people

Use synonyms

learn so

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

things from their

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

.Some youngsters may choose Sachin Tendulkar as a Role Model.We all

knows

Change the verb form

know

show examples

about his life from his biopic movie.He is become a God of Cricket just

Use synonyms

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of his determination towards cricket.

Secondly

Linking Words

, Some celebrities are famous for their

lifestyle

Use synonyms

and wealth rather than their

talent

Use synonyms

.A very good example

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

is Rakhi Sawant. She has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

less

talent

Use synonyms

but she has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fame

Use synonyms

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of her boldness or glamourous

avtaar

Correct your spelling

avatar

. Today youngsters

follows

Change the verb form

show examples

celebrities' kids

also

Linking Words

just because of their luxurious

lifestyle

Use synonyms

, which is

bed

Correct your spelling

bad

show examples

thing.

For example

Linking Words

, Aryan Khan and Suhana Khan are followed by so many

people

Use synonyms

just

Use synonyms

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

they are celebrity kids. In conclusion, I just say that teenagers have a choice to choose a role model.Entertainers are getting fame for both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reasons. Some are

famos

Correct your spelling

famous

for

talent

Use synonyms

and

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

sone

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

are famous for

glamour

Correct article usage

the glamour

show examples

and

lifestyle

Use synonyms

they have.So, Young

people

Use synonyms

should think about that what famous

people

Use synonyms

can be ideal or role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

Submitted by vibhandikbhagyashri on Thu Feb 10 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent’s absence.
In today’s dynamic world, numerous families find it significant for both parents to go out of work. In this essay, I will discuss and give opinions of the said views.
7.5
band
Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that greedy and selfish behaviour has increased in recent times. While it is commonly believed that returning to traditional teaching methods can help diminish such behaviour, some argue against it. In my opinion, I consider that older traditional teaching plays a critical role in improving behaviour.
4.5
band
Some people think that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people have the notion that the best way to keep physically fit you need to join a gym/ fitness club, whereas others prefer to think that daily basis activities like walking up and down stairs is the best option. It is important to admit that both ideas have their merits. In this essay, I will discuss the possible reason that support each view, and what benefit they bring to their physical fitness.
7.5
band
10. Your friend bought tickets to the theatre for both of you. Write a letter to a friend to tell him that you cannot go to theatre. In your letter Apologize, Explain the situation, Tell him what he can do with the extra ticket.
Hope you are fit as a fiddle and delightful. It is my pleasure that you bought movie tickets for me, however, unfortunately, I can not join you for this film as my schedule is busy. It's been a long time since we have not met each other because we have both moved to other cities.
6.5
band
At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
As can be seen, nowadays adults comprise a vast majority of the population compared to the elderly in many regions, which has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks. In the upcoming paragraphs, both sides of this trend will be discussed.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Fully explain your ideas

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent’s absence.

Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to older more traditional values such as respect for the and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym/health club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

10. Your friend bought tickets to the theatre for both of you. Write a letter to a friend to tell him that you cannot go to theatre. In your letter Apologize, Explain the situation, Tell him what he can do with the extra ticket.