Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Today

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation follows

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

people

but nowadays, some entertainers are famous for their

lifestyle

rather than their

talent

.I partially agree with that.I believe not all celebrities are famed for their wealth,some are noted

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their

talent

also

. Many

people

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become a star

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their natural

talent

.In

bollywood

Change the capitalization

Bollywood

Hollywood

show examples

, Pankaj Tripathy, Navajuddin Siddiqui, Rajkumar Rao are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

examples of

this

. All these actors are

big

Add a hyphen

big-name

show examples

name

Fix the agreement mistake

names

show examples

just

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their natural acting.These actors

are stay

Change the verb form

stay

show examples

away from glamour so young

people

learn so

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

things from their

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

.Some youngsters may choose Sachin Tendulkar as a Role Model.We all

knows

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know

show examples

about his life from his biopic movie.He is become a God of Cricket just

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of his determination towards cricket.

Secondly

, Some celebrities are famous for their

lifestyle

and wealth rather than their

talent

.A very good example

for

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show examples

this

is Rakhi Sawant. She has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

less

talent

but she has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fame

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of her boldness or glamourous

avtaar

Correct your spelling

avatar

. Today youngsters

follows

Change the verb form

show examples

celebrities' kids

also

just because of their luxurious

lifestyle

, which is

bed

Correct your spelling

bad

show examples

thing.

For example

, Aryan Khan and Suhana Khan are followed by so many

people

just

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

they are celebrity kids. In conclusion, I just say that teenagers have a choice to choose a role model.Entertainers are getting fame for both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reasons. Some are

famos

Correct your spelling

famous

for

talent

and

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

sone

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

are famous for

glamour

Correct article usage

the glamour

show examples

and

lifestyle

they have.So, Young

people

should think about that what famous

people

can be ideal or role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

Submitted by vibhandikbhagyashri on Thu Feb 10 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Fully explain your ideas

Write an essay of 200 - 250 words on the following topic. Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages four tourists who visit such places?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.