Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Today

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation follows

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

famous

people

but nowadays, some entertainers are famous for their

lifestyle

rather than their

talent

.I partially agree with that.I believe not all celebrities are famed for their wealth,some are noted

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their

talent

also

. Many

people

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

become a star

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their natural

talent

.In

bollywood

Change the capitalization

Bollywood

Hollywood

show examples

, Pankaj Tripathy, Navajuddin Siddiqui, Rajkumar Rao are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

examples of

this

. All these actors are

big

Add a hyphen

big-name

show examples

name

Fix the agreement mistake

names

show examples

just

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of their natural acting.These actors

are stay

Change the verb form

stay

show examples

away from glamour so young

people

learn so

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

things from their

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

.Some youngsters may choose Sachin Tendulkar as a Role Model.We all

knows

Change the verb form

know

show examples

about his life from his biopic movie.He is become a God of Cricket just

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of his determination towards cricket.

Secondly

, Some celebrities are famous for their

lifestyle

and wealth rather than their

talent

.A very good example

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

is Rakhi Sawant. She has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

less

talent

but she has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

fame

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

of her boldness or glamourous

avtaar

Correct your spelling

avatar

. Today youngsters

follows

Change the verb form

show examples

celebrities' kids

also

just because of their luxurious

lifestyle

, which is

bed

Correct your spelling

bad

show examples

thing.

For example

, Aryan Khan and Suhana Khan are followed by so many

people

just

becuse

Correct your spelling

because

they are celebrity kids. In conclusion, I just say that teenagers have a choice to choose a role model.Entertainers are getting fame for both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reasons. Some are

famos

Correct your spelling

famous

for

talent

and

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

sone

Correct your spelling

some

show examples

are famous for

glamour

Correct article usage

the glamour

show examples

and

lifestyle

they have.So, Young

people

should think about that what famous

people

can be ideal or role

model

Fix the agreement mistake

models

show examples

Submitted by vibhandikbhagyashri on Thu Feb 10 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Communication through text messaging and other instant forms of online communication are short and basic. Some people think this will be death of grammar and spelling. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Communication online is becoming more popular every other day. There are some people who think grammar and spelling will die because of this short and basic communication style. This essay will discuss why this is the case and the reasons why I agree with the statement.
5
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's world, taking risk is essential for growth in both professional and personal development. While risks can lead to setbacks, they also provide unique opportunities for advancement. This essay argues that the benefits of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages, as they are crucial for success and innovation.
5
band
Some people think that robots are impotant for human's development. Other's think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Robots are a potentional replacement of humans on some jobs. They can comply treadmill and artificial intelligence has tremendous opportunities in intelligent work such as programming and humanitarian sciences. Some people believe that it is a way in the future, while others adhere to the contrary opinion. I am a proponent of the first opinion and we will discuss this question in this essay.
7
band
Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?
In this day and age, traffic congestion has become a huge problem in many developed cities. I believe the reasons for this are the ever-climbing number of vehicles and poor traffic discipline. Like any problem, this can also be fixed. People can take public transport rather than travel in their own vehicles, and governments can take the initiative and make traffic rules stricter.
5.5
band
Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Museums and Town halls are becoming part of the society nowadays. Some individuals claim that, it is beneficial to construct modern museums and town buildings other than renovating the outmoded ones. I strongly agree that new museums should be built as it will provide more space and include modern architecture which will be accessible to visitors and also great jobs for the community.

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Communication through text messaging and other instant forms of online communication are short and basic. Some people think this will be death of grammar and spelling. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that robots are impotant for human's development. Other's think that robots have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?

Some people believe that it is better to build new museums and town halls instead of renovating the old ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?