Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Today the young generation follows famous

people

but nowadays, some entertainers are famous for their lifestyle rather than their

talent

. I partially agree with that. I believe that

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apply

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not all celebrities are famed for their wealth, some are noted

also

because of their

talent

Firstly

Many

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many

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people

become a star because of their natural

talent

. In

bollywood

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Bollywood

Hollywood

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, Pankaj Tripathy and Rajkumar Rao are

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an example

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example

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examples

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this

. Both are

big

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big-name

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name

Fix the agreement mistake

names

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just because of their natural acting skill. These actors

are stay

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stay

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away from glamour so young

people

should learn so

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

things from their

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

. Some youngsters may choose Sachin Tendulkar as a Role Model.He is become a God of Cricket just because of his determination towards cricket.

Secondly

, some celebrities are famous for their lifestyle and wealth rather than

talent

. A very good example of

this

is Rakhi Sawant. She has less

talent

but

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is more

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famous

beecuase

Correct your spelling

because

of her boldness and glamourous

avtaar

Correct your spelling

avatar

. Today youngsters

also

follows

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show examples

starkids

Correct your spelling

star kids

just because of their luxurious behaviour, which is not a good thing.

For example

, Aryan

khan

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Khan

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and Suhana are followed by many

people

just because they are celebrity kids. In conclusion, I just say that teenagers have a choice to choose a role model.Entertainers are getting famed for two reasons.

First

for their

talent

and

second

for their

galmour

Correct your spelling

glamour

and luxurious lifestyle. So young

people

should

be think

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be thinking

be thought

show examples

about that, which kind of celebrity can be ideal or

rolemodel

Correct your spelling

role model

for us.

Submitted by vibhandikbhagyashri on Thu Feb 10 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Your opinion

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say this is no longer true.

There are growing demand for fresh water nowadays and this is becoming a global problem. What are the causes and solutions.

most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many governments think that economics progress is there most important goal some people fieber think that other type of progress are equally important for a country discuss both views and give your opinion

Discuss the disadvantages of eating fast food on health. Why do people eat fast food? What can be done to discourage it?