Do you agree that supermarkets are a threat to small shops and local communities?

#supermarkets #threat #shops #communities

Some people think that modern supermarkets are impacting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

local

communities

and small

shops

. In my opinion, though I accept that supermarkets are more convenient, l believe that there is still

need

Correct article usage

a need

show examples

for local

communities

and corner

shops

. It is true that nowadays more and more citizens tend to

shopping

Change the verb form

shop

show examples

in the big shopping plaza.

Firstly

, big outlets have many

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

of products. Almost all of

big

Add an article

the big

show examples

outlets sort and classify by clothes, foods… from budget brands to premium brands so it’s easy

for looking

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to look

show examples

for by customers.

Secondly

, big supermarkets have various

promotion

Fix the agreement mistake

promotions

show examples

For instance

, in

Australia

Add a comma

Australia,

show examples

a lot of items will half

price

Replace the word

priced

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every Wednesday to

attracted

Change the form of the verb

attract

show examples

citizens. Both reasons

that is

the reason why people go to small

shops

less.

On the other hand

, local

communities

and small

shops

sell special items. Fresh.

For example

, local markets sell homemade clean vegetables, safe for health.

Besides

, local

communities

and small grocery stores

near

Add a missing verb

are near

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people’

Change noun form

people’s

show examples

living

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

thus

everyone

convenient

Add a missing verb

is convenient

show examples

to move. When families lack some small

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

, citizens can go to small stores faster. But huge stores could

sold

Change the verb form

sell

be sold

show examples

problems relating

jobs

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to jobs

show examples

and consciousness make a plan of people. Every time go shopping, everyone will write down

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

without being missed.

Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on Fri Feb 11 2022

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Task Achievement

Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas to better address the task prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a more logical structure to your essay, and provide a better balance between introduction, main body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

207 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Do you agree that supermarkets are a threat to small shops and local communities?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree? #cr

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Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks, while others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they don’t do well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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