Do you agree that supermarkets are a threat to small shops and local communities?

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Some people think that modern supermarkets are impacting
to
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apply
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local
communities
Use synonyms
and small
shops
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, though I accept that supermarkets are more convenient, l believe that there is still
need
Correct article usage
a need
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for local
communities
Use synonyms
and corner
shops
Use synonyms
. It is true that nowadays more and more citizens tend to
shopping
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shop
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in the big shopping plaza.
Firstly
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, big outlets have many
type
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types
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of products. Almost all of
big
Add an article
the big
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outlets sort and classify by clothes, foods… from budget brands to premium brands so it’s easy
for looking
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to look
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for by customers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, big supermarkets have various
promotion
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promotions
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.
For instance
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, in
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
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a lot of items will half
price
Replace the word
priced
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on
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apply
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every Wednesday to
attracted
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attract
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citizens. Both reasons
that is
Linking Words
the reason why people go to small
shops
Use synonyms
less.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, local
communities
Use synonyms
and small
shops
Use synonyms
sell special items. Fresh.
For example
Linking Words
, local markets sell homemade clean vegetables, safe for health.
Besides
Linking Words
, local
communities
Use synonyms
and small grocery stores
near
Add a missing verb
are near
show examples
to
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apply
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people’
Change noun form
people’s
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living
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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,
thus
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everyone
convenient
Add a missing verb
is convenient
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to move. When families lack some small
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
, citizens can go to small stores faster. But huge stores could
sold
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sell
be sold
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problems relating
jobs
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to jobs
show examples
and consciousness make a plan of people. Every time go shopping, everyone will write down
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
without being missed.
Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on

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Task Achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas to better address the task prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a more logical structure to your essay, and provide a better balance between introduction, main body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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