IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

With an increasing number of people eating fast food, which if eating to regularly can cause health issues, some people think that the only solution is ban it completely. To what extent do you agree?

#people #food #health #ban
Fast
food
 plays a vital role in the modern world. In recent years, fast
food
 has been
Correct your spelling
spread
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
 to several countries and has become pretty popular around the world especially in Asia. The sorts of fast
food
 include french fries, fried chicken, hamburgers and corn chips. Obviously, it is wonderful for
people
 to eat fast
food
 though the drawback is fast
food
 may cause
health
 issues. Fast
food
 is delicious and convenient to obtain
although
 cardiovascular problems may affect the human body if an individual eats too much.
That is
, the more fast
food
people
 have, the more
health
 concerns they will acquire. The process of fast
food
 is through highly thermal
oil
 which makes
food
 become crispy and cooked.
However
, there will be a great deal of
oil
 in fried
food
 when frying. The great amount of
oil
 in fried
food
 may cause hypertension and diabetes after
people
 eat fried
food
. In order to avoid too much
oil
 which can impact
health
, those who eat a great amount of
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 need to exercise more regularly than normal
people
.
In addition
, the major solution is to not eat too much fast
food
 and have more vegetables for the purpose of a healthy life. In that way,
people
 are able to not only avoid diseases but
also
 maintain good body shape. In conclusion, fast
food
 is
such
 a common type of
food
 in daily life.
However
, eating too much fast
food
 may cause cardiovascular problems involving hypertension and diabetes. If
people
 have less fast
food
 and exercise more regularly, they can avoid
health
 issues and lead a healthy life.
Submitted by s25698363 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: