Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Celebrities
play a vital role in modern society. Recently, there have been many
celebrities
who became famous for their talented singing voices or
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
skills like
baseketball
Correct your spelling
basketball
. These
celebrities
include singers, athletes, basketball players and even politicians. Clearly,
such
significant
celebrities
can spread any ideas and go trends around the world though they may convey false information to young
people
. Several
celebrities
are considerably rich and glamorous though their
wealth
and
glamor
Change the spelling
glamour
show examples
are likely to misunderstand young
people
.
That is
, the more
wealth
and
glamor
Change the spelling
glamour
show examples
celebrities
have, the more likely young
people
would like to become these
celebrities
. Many young
people
consider that
celebrities
are so wealthy that they are able to purchase a tremendous amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
luxuries. Young
people
affected by materialism prefer to buy products of expensive brands inclusive of
Chenel
Correct your spelling
Chanel
, Supreme and Apple.
Moreover
, teenagers who want to be
celebrities
may take unreasonable
videos
onto social media websites involving Youtube and TikTok.
However
,
such
unreasonable
videos
can attract many viewers to see and increase the click rates on the Internet. In order to solve these biased
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
for teenagers,
celebrities
should set an example to donate their
wealth
to charities.
In addition
, governments are supposed to establish a law to control illegal
videos
on social media websites and punish those who violate
law
Add an article
the law
show examples
. In that way, not only
celebrities
can build a wonderfully personal image in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society but
also
youngsters are capable of following
celebrities
with admirable
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
. In conclusion,
celebrities
definitely have a large influence
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
individuals in daily life. They can bring considerable
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
show examples
to everyone.
Nevertheless
, teenagers may show off their
wealth
and make unreasonable
videos
on social media websites because of these
celebrities
. If
celebrities
donate money to charities and governments establish legislation to punish
people
who upload illegal
videos
onto the Internet, youngsters can follow the remarkable steps of their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
celebrities
and do help for the world.
Submitted by s25698363 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: