Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

Celebrities

play a vital role in modern society. Recently, there have been many

celebrities

who became famous for their talented singing voices or

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

skills like

baseketball

Correct your spelling

basketball

. These

celebrities

include singers, athletes, basketball players and even politicians. Clearly,

such

significant

celebrities

can spread any ideas and go trends around the world though they may convey false information to young

people

. Several

celebrities

are considerably rich and glamorous though their

wealth

and

glamor

Change the spelling

glamour

show examples

are likely to misunderstand young

people

That is

, the more

wealth

and

glamor

Change the spelling

glamour

show examples

celebrities

have, the more likely young

people

would like to become these

celebrities

. Many young

people

consider that

celebrities

are so wealthy that they are able to purchase a tremendous amount of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

luxuries. Young

people

affected by materialism prefer to buy products of expensive brands inclusive of

Chenel

Correct your spelling

Chanel

, Supreme and Apple.

Moreover

, teenagers who want to be

celebrities

may take unreasonable

videos

onto social media websites involving Youtube and TikTok.

However

such

unreasonable

videos

can attract many viewers to see and increase the click rates on the Internet. In order to solve these biased

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

for teenagers,

celebrities

should set an example to donate their

wealth

to charities.

In addition

, governments are supposed to establish a law to control illegal

videos

on social media websites and punish those who violate

law

Add an article

the law

show examples

. In that way, not only

celebrities

can build a wonderfully personal image in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society but

also

youngsters are capable of following

celebrities

with admirable

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

. In conclusion,

celebrities

definitely have a large influence

for

Change preposition

show examples

individuals in daily life. They can bring considerable

thoughts

Fix the agreement mistake

thought

show examples

to everyone.

Nevertheless

, teenagers may show off their

wealth

and make unreasonable

videos

on social media websites because of these

celebrities

. If

celebrities

donate money to charities and governments establish legislation to punish

people

who upload illegal

videos

onto the Internet, youngsters can follow the remarkable steps of their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

celebrities

and do help for the world.

Submitted by s25698363 on Fri Feb 11 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

"Tourism is always a force for good which enables people of different countries to understand each other." To what extent do you agree with this idea? You should give reasons for your answer. and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes after they are released. 1. Why is this the case? What can be done solve this problem?

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays,most of the information is available on the internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think that advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage