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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
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In recent years, advances in
technology
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/technological advancements have allowed governments and the police to keep the public under constant surveillance.
However
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, sometimes
this
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 is done without the person’s consent. The
use
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 of security cameras and other
technology
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 to monitor is certainly advantageous, but there can
also
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 be some drawbacks and concerns derived from
this
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 development
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 we should not overlook.
Certainly
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,Certainly
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 there are benefits. In areas where there is a high crime rate, the
use
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 of surveillance equipment may act as a deterrent to criminals. If they can see the camera, they may think twice about breaking into a building or stealing a car. When a crime is carried out, the footage from the security camera can provide evidence or lead to the police who can
also
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 trace the suspects or criminals with cellphone tracking
technology
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 to locate them and bring them to justice.
On the other hand
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, there are a number of concerns. In countries where human rights are ignored, the
use
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 of security cameras or listening devices may be harmful to society. People should be able to hold meetings and express their own opinions without their privacy being invaded. There is
also
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 a very different issue we should consider. Nowadays, many people upload personal information and photographs onto social networking sites. They often do not realize how easy it is for other people to view
this
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 information or for the site owners to
use
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 the data or photographs for their own financial gain. It seems inevitable that there will be more and more ways to monitor society in the future.
However
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, it is our responsibility to evaluate new
technology
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 and decide whether it will do more harm than good. Surely our freedom is more valuable than technological progress.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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