Some people think watching tv is bad for children in every way. Others think TV has positive effects on children, as they develop to grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #tv #children #effects

this

cutting-edge era,

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

part of our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. Most masses believe

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

habits are spoiled by watching television. Others think in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

favour of

this

, as they grow up.

This

essay intends to discuss both views and I will discuss my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs. The reasons why people believe watching

Correct your spelling

show examples

has benefits

Change preposition

for

show examples

children

Firstly

children

have a hectic schedule, they spend the most

time

in school and later they have to do homework which

had

Verb problem

show examples

given by their teachers

then

spend some

time

Correct your spelling

show examples

by watching their favourite show gives them relaxation from the study.

Secondly

, many education programs

telecast

Add a missing verb

are telecast

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

and watching the right kind of shows

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

knowledge.

Finally

, some

children

decide their career by watching sports, food, music, and arts from the

Correct your spelling

show examples

program.

For instance

, most sportspeople choose sports by watching their favourite games.

Therefore

, Virat Kohli is one of them and he is the greatest cricketer in history. Other individuals have a negative point on

this

. They say that

children

become lazy and couch potatoes by spending the most

time

in front of the television and the ratio of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

obesity problem in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing every year, in spite of

this

their eyesight become weak.

Further

, many violent and vulgar shows are broadcast on

Correct your spelling

show examples

, which affects them mentally

due to

this

they develop some bad habits at an early age,

later

Correct word choice

and later

show examples

this

becomes a great problem in their life. I believe that watching

Correct your spelling

show examples

has an advantage for toddlers. They learn many things from

this

such

as cooking, art skills, sports, and some dance moves.

Whereas

, it is one of the greatest things to kill boredom in life.

To conclude

, "every coin has two sides." Parents should limit the

time

of watching television and watch

Correct your spelling

show examples

with them so that they

could not

Wrong verb form

cannot

show examples

watch some aggressive shows.

Submitted by rayatsahil7 on Sun Feb 13 2022

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coherence and cohesion

Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame the essay

task achievement

Explain both views in more detail and ensure all parts of the task are covered comprehensively

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary behavior
unrealistic perceptions
creative pursuits
social development
emotional development
constructive content
screen time
parental guidance
critical thinking
active learning
age-appropriate
media literacy
family bonding
moderation
perceive

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