Some people think watching tv is bad for children in every way. Others think TV has positive effects on children, as they develop to grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In
this
cutting-edge era,
TV
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
part of our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Most masses believe
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
habits are spoiled by watching television. Others think in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
favour of
this
, as they grow up.
This
essay intends to discuss both views and I will discuss my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs. The reasons why people believe watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
has benefits
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
.
Firstly
,
children
have a hectic schedule, they spend the most
time
in school and later they have to do homework which
had
Verb problem
is
show examples
given by their teachers
then
spend some
time
on
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
by watching their favourite show gives them relaxation from the study.
Secondly
, many education programs
telecast
Add a missing verb
are telecast
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tv
and watching the right kind of shows
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
knowledge.
Finally
, some
children
decide their career by watching sports, food, music, and arts from the
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
program.
For instance
, most sportspeople choose sports by watching their favourite games.
Therefore
, Virat Kohli is one of them and he is the greatest cricketer in history. Other individuals have a negative point on
this
. They say that
children
become lazy and couch potatoes by spending the most
time
in front of the television and the ratio of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity problem in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
increasing every year, in spite of
this
their eyesight become weak.
Further
, many violent and vulgar shows are broadcast on
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, which affects them mentally
due to
this
they develop some bad habits at an early age,
later
Correct word choice
and later
show examples
this
becomes a great problem in their life. I believe that watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
has an advantage for toddlers. They learn many things from
this
such
as cooking, art skills, sports, and some dance moves.
Whereas
, it is one of the greatest things to kill boredom in life.
To conclude
, "every coin has two sides." Parents should limit the
time
of watching television and watch
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
with them so that they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
watch some aggressive shows.
Submitted by rayatsahil7 on

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coherence and cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction and conclusion to frame the essay
task achievement
Explain both views in more detail and ensure all parts of the task are covered comprehensively

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary behavior
  • unrealistic perceptions
  • creative pursuits
  • social development
  • emotional development
  • constructive content
  • screen time
  • parental guidance
  • critical thinking
  • active learning
  • age-appropriate
  • media literacy
  • family bonding
  • moderation
  • perceive
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