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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers rather than to benefit them as individuals

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The vast majority of
population
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the population
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 deems that the fundamental duty of the school is to convert graders into decent dwellers and employees rather than to improve them as individuals.
Although
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 I advocate strongly with the opinion of
majority
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the majority
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, I think that the
schools
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also
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 should care about each
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children
Change to a singular noun
child
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 as
individuals
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individual
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. On the one hand, it is essential
children
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 are prepared to be members of society. Education gives students more skills and knowledge.
Likewise
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, well-educated
children
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 can learn to be independent as well as
this
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 helps to find work. In
this
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 way,
children
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 become altruistic people, they tend to contribute positively to society.
Moreover
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, the
schools
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 aim to teach
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 generation moral values
such
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 as tolerance and sharing.
For example
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, our school curriculums include respecting teachers as well as other junior and senior graders, doing their homework, keeping
environment
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the environment
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 and loving their motherland.
On the other hand
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, emphasizing the capacity of each child helps to blossom hidden abilities. If
schools
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implements
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implement
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this
Linking Words
 tendency, most graders can know anything related to their favourite subject as well as they will be professional trainees in the future.
Furthermore
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, a huge number of students prefer to study as individuals.
For instance
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, among schoolers conducted a survey about which one better general or individual study in the one school of the UK.
This
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 research showed that almost
over
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apply
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70% of students voted
the
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for the
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 letter. In conclusion, I think both of them play a vital role in our society.
However
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,
schools
Use synonyms
 should turn kids into good citizens and trainees.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • shaping
  • developing
  • unique talents
  • potential
  • well-rounded
  • academic
  • social
  • emotional development
  • personal growth
  • contribute positively
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • individuality
  • happier and more fulfilled
  • strike a balance
  • preparing students for the workforce
  • nurturing
  • individual needs
  • pursue passions and interests
  • thrive
  • future professionals
  • community institutions
  • shape community values
  • foster civic engagement
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