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Band 4.5

More and more people no longer read newspapers or watch TV programs to get news. They get news about the world through the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development.

#people #newspapers #tv #programs #news #world #internet #development
As a spurt of technological
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
show examples
,
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 is transforming the way
people
 work and live. An unavoidable fact we are confronting is that
people
are gradually tend
Change the verb form
gradually tend
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 to search
information
Change preposition
for information
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 through the
Internet
instead
 of reading newspapers or watching TV programs. Generally speaking, it is a positive development in some aspects. As the approach of reading newspapers attains less interest, manufacturers become unwilling to spend much money on them, which serves as an explanation for direct
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
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 in newspaper
producing
Replace the word
production
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 as well as the relative consumption of raw
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
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such
 as wood and some
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
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 reagents. Since the excessive usage of these sources can cause irreversible damage to
environment
Add an article
the environment
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, less it is expected to a positive change.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
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 to TV, mobile devices
such
 as smartphones, laptops and i-Pads are more portable and accessible, enabling us to surf the
Internet
 immediately whenever and wherever it is. Considering that some groups
such
 as students are involved in
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
thus
 unable to spare time to wait for TV programs or buy newspapers, in which case,
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 would be a more appropriate choice to keep up with the news.
In addition
, online reading provides some special functions,
for instance
, comment and searching engine. The former usually provides a platform where
people
 communicate and make discussions on issues at ease, making it fascinating to go through the news. Searching engine aims to help
people
 get infinite information in a more convenient way, so it contributes to
broaden
Wrong verb form
broadening
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 their horizons. Past decades
has
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have
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 witnessed the rapid development
in
Change preposition
of
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 whereby it manifests its superiority to other means of learning about the news which are predicted to be substituted completely and the terms ”newspapers” and ”TV” will fade away from
people
’s memory in future.
Submitted by 450617532 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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