Many animal species in world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#species #world #people #countries #individuals #animals #beings

When it comes to the topic of

preservation

Correct article usage

the preservation

show examples

of wildlife, some

people

argue that governments should focus on the improvement of citizens’ living standards,

instead

of spending money on

wildlifelife

Correct your spelling

wildlife life

conservation.

However

, others insist that it is extremely necessary to protect wild

animals

. Personally, I strongly agree that conserving endangered

animals

is essential, which is virtually

the

Correct article usage

show examples

human responsibility. In

this

essay, I will discuss both perspectives

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and explain why I opt for

this

view. On one hand, some

people

advocate that local authorities and individuals should

concern

Wrong verb form

be concerned

show examples

about the issues with human beings by allocating funds, rather than considering the existence of wild creatures. In

another word

Fix the agreement mistake

other words

show examples

, they believe that it is a waste of resources and

finance

Fix the agreement mistake

finances

show examples

to protect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extinct

animals

, especially for those countries that are still struggling with

meeting

Wrong verb form

meet

show examples

the basic

demand

Fix the agreement mistake

demands

show examples

citizen’s life

Change noun form

citizens

show examples

According to

their view, if a developing country allocates too much time and energy to safeguarding wildlife,

instead

of catering for its

people

’s

well being

Add a hyphen

well-being

show examples

, the consequences will be catastrophic. I mean, by

then

, residents’

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

will be under poor conditions, and society will witness a structural unemployment issue.

Therefore

this

group of

people

think that sparing any sort of effort on extinct

animals

is meaningless, and they believe that we should prioritize the development of our human society

instead

On the other hand

, another group of

people

as well as

I, recommend that we should protect vulnerable

animals

due to

the following aspects. First and foremost, extinct creatures are important for the balance of the ecosystem.

For example

, if we leave sea turtles alone, the whole marine ecosystem will not be in equilibrium.

Hence

this

will unavoidably cause catastrophic effects on the environment and eventually lead to human beings’ trouble in life,

such

as ocean acidification and

decline

Correct article usage

a decline

show examples

coastal

Correct article usage

the coastal

show examples

city’s economy.

Secondly

, if governments ignore the wild

animals

, we will face the crisis of decline in biodiversity which supports human and societal needs in a non-negligible way. Without biodiversity, food, nutrition security, energy, development of medicines and pharmaceuticals and freshwater are not being able to underpin good health.

Therefore

, even though we might not see the benefit in the short term, we believe that it is crucial to protect those

animals

which are endangered for the sake of the

overall

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

benefit. In conclusion,

although

some

people

argue that governments should guarantee the basic living of

people

, I firmly believe that preventing those

animals

from disappearing is greatly significant.

Submitted by Esther on Mon Feb 14 2022

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coherence cohesion

The introduction lacked a clear statement of the writer's opinion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas presented are logically connected.

task achievement

Provide additional specific examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

412 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

biodiversity
cascading effects
economic impacts
ecosystem
endangered species
environmental conservation
human welfare
moral duty
preserve
sustainable practices
habitats
interconnected
extinction
advocates
opponents
priority

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Many animal species in world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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The disgram below shows what happens to pollutants from farming and industry once in a river system. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.