Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Violence
on television and in computer
games
has long been a contentious issue. Arguments have persisted
as
Add the preposition
toas
show examples
whether it has negative impacts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
or not. Whilst there
are
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is
show examples
convincing rationale on both sides, I believe that brutality on
TV
and in video
games
adversely affects
people
's
action
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actions
show examples
.
To begin
with, exposure to
TV
shows containing violent elements can have harmful effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
People
who consume a large number of violent
TV
shows tend to be less sympathetic and more aggressive . Because of being surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
violent
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
on
TV
, they find it normal to have brutal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and even try to imitate what they have seen on television.
In addition
, a study shows that
people
especially young children who expose to violent programmes have more likelihood of
antisocial
Add a missing verb
being antisocial
show examples
and emotional distress, which can lead to
mistreatment
Correct article usage
the mistreatment
show examples
of others.
Hence
, these cruel shows poison the humanity of our
society
.
Furthermore
, violent video
games
have bad influences as well,
Correct pronoun usage
which may
show examples
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
more profound than when
people
are exposed to
violence
in a more passive manner,
such
as when watching television. There is a wide recognition that playing action
games
usually stimulates
people
using
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to use
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weapons and
violence
.
For instance
, if a kid plays
PUBG-a
Correct article usage
a PUBG-a
show examples
shooting game too much, he might get more curious about using guns or more likely want to involve in a fight.
As a result
,
people
or teenagers might use
violence
as
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
and even bully other
people
to prove their strength. To recapitulate,
TV
shows and computer
games
that contain
violence
indirectly cause lots of problems for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Submitted by gloriousnguyen2612 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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