Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Violence
Use synonyms
on television and in computer
games
Use synonyms
has long been a contentious issue. Arguments have persisted
as
Add the preposition
toas
show examples
whether it has negative impacts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
or not. Whilst there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
convincing rationale on both sides, I believe that brutality on
TV
Use synonyms
and in video
games
Use synonyms
adversely affects
people
Use synonyms
's
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, exposure to
TV
Use synonyms
shows containing violent elements can have harmful effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
who consume a large number of violent
TV
Use synonyms
shows tend to be less sympathetic and more aggressive . Because of being surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
violent
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
on
TV
Use synonyms
, they find it normal to have brutal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and even try to imitate what they have seen on television.
In addition
Linking Words
, a study shows that
people
Use synonyms
especially young children who expose to violent programmes have more likelihood of
antisocial
Add a missing verb
being antisocial
show examples
and emotional distress, which can lead to
mistreatment
Correct article usage
the mistreatment
show examples
of others.
Hence
Linking Words
, these cruel shows poison the humanity of our
society
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, violent video
games
Use synonyms
have bad influences as well,
Correct pronoun usage
which may
show examples
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
more profound than when
people
Use synonyms
are exposed to
violence
Use synonyms
in a more passive manner,
such
Linking Words
as when watching television. There is a wide recognition that playing action
games
Use synonyms
usually stimulates
people
Use synonyms
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
weapons and
violence
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a kid plays
PUBG-a
Correct article usage
a PUBG-a
show examples
shooting game too much, he might get more curious about using guns or more likely want to involve in a fight.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
or teenagers might use
violence
Use synonyms
as
solution
Add an article
a solution
the solution
show examples
and even bully other
people
Use synonyms
to prove their strength. To recapitulate,
TV
Use synonyms
shows and computer
games
Use synonyms
that contain
violence
Use synonyms
indirectly cause lots of problems for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by gloriousnguyen2612 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
What to do next:
Look at other essays: