Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

Violence

on television and in computer

games

has long been a contentious issue. Arguments have persisted

Add the preposition

toas

show examples

whether it has negative impacts on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

or not. Whilst there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

convincing rationale on both sides, I believe that brutality on

and in video

games

adversely affects

people

action

Fix the agreement mistake

actions

show examples

To begin

with, exposure to

shows containing violent elements can have harmful effects on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

People

who consume a large number of violent

shows tend to be less sympathetic and more aggressive . Because of being surrounded

with

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show examples

violent

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

, they find it normal to have brutal

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

and even try to imitate what they have seen on television.

In addition

, a study shows that

people

especially young children who expose to violent programmes have more likelihood of

antisocial

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being antisocial

show examples

and emotional distress, which can lead to

mistreatment

Correct article usage

the mistreatment

show examples

of others.

Hence

, these cruel shows poison the humanity of our

society

Furthermore

, violent video

games

have bad influences as well,

Correct pronoun usage

which may

show examples

may be

Correct your spelling

maybe

show examples

more profound than when

people

are exposed to

violence

in a more passive manner,

such

as when watching television. There is a wide recognition that playing action

games

usually stimulates

people

using

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to use

show examples

weapons and

violence

For instance

, if a kid plays

PUBG-a

Correct article usage

a PUBG-a

show examples

shooting game too much, he might get more curious about using guns or more likely want to involve in a fight.

As a result

people

or teenagers might use

violence

solution

Add an article

a solution

the solution

show examples

and even bully other

people

to prove their strength. To recapitulate,

shows and computer

games

that contain

violence

indirectly cause lots of problems for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Submitted by gloriousnguyen2612 on Mon Feb 14 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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