SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT A GOOD DIET AND EXERCISE ARE NOT NECESSARY FOR A HEALTH AND LONG LIFE. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
modern scenario,the topic of
health
Use synonyms
issues is controversial.a proportion of society ruminates that it is a waste of
time
Use synonyms
to care about
a nutritious food
Remove the article
nutritious food
a portion of nutritious food
show examples
and gymnastics.I completely disaccord with
this
Linking Words
statement.
this
Linking Words
essay will go into better detail with my subject view. To embark on,in my perspective,
health
Use synonyms
is very imperative in everyone's life because without proper
health
Use synonyms
we can not get
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
in our entity.these days,many individuals do not indulge in physical
activities
Use synonyms
due to their busy schedules.
consequently
Linking Words
,they might have suffered
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
diseases.
moreover
Linking Words
,some multitudes feel that it takes
time
Use synonyms
to inculcate with gymnastics and diet as they ruminate that these
activities
Use synonyms
involved in high income with more
time
Use synonyms
,so they are not interested to go to the fitness centre.
for instance
Linking Words
,in
this
Linking Words
modern busy era,many
people
Use synonyms
are doing jobs with involving in more hours and take high risks,
therefore
Linking Words
they consider that diet and exercise are not
manadatory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
to maintain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
well-being. On another hand,nowadays,many
people
Use synonyms
are becoming idle as they are habituated to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
electronic gizmos
such
Linking Words
as phones and laptops.
as a result
Linking Words
,they stayed glued
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
social media continuously.
thus
Linking Words
,multitudes are getting fat because they do not do physical
activities
Use synonyms
.
consequently
Linking Words
,they will lead to diseases
such
Linking Words
as weight gain and obesity.
furthermore
Linking Words
,due to the advancement of technology,many
people
Use synonyms
are doing jobs just sitting at homes through electronic devices,
then
Linking Words
it leads to
Use synonyms
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
problems.
for example
Linking Words
,according to the world
health
Use synonyms
organisation,60% of
people
Use synonyms
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
with
Change the preposition
from
show examples
weight gain problems due to the lack of
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
. To conclude,
firstly
Linking Words
,
health
Use synonyms
is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
important tool to achieve our goals,
therefore
Linking Words
everyone spends
little
Add an article
the little
a little
show examples
amount of
time
Use synonyms
to do physical
activities
Use synonyms
,in order to every citizen inhabit with good
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by anushachenna15 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: