These days in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools.

Nowadys
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Nowadays
, the ward of IT technician or
an
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apply
show examples
engineering is the most common ward in our community not as a
Theacher
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Teacher
.because
some
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of some
show examples
problems.
however
,I will
maintion
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maintain
mention
the
next
paragrphs
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paragraphs
paragraph
the cause and
soultion
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solution
. to commence with,there are two main problems.
firsty
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first
firstly
, the wage of
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
is poor and not
sutiable
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suitable
for living demanded
that is
why individual people do not
intersted
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interested
in
this
feild
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field
.
secondly
,secondary
shcools
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schools
has
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have
show examples
curriculum change as
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government
government's
goverment
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a goverment
show examples
role so it could affect the new teachers joining
this
feild
Correct your spelling
field
.
nevertheless
,
increase
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increasing
show examples
wage
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
this
career and motivate society to apply for it.
for example
, develop
countrys
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country
countries
country's
attractive immigrate teachers to pay more salaries for them.
moreover
, educate new teachers to understand what content did secondary they need.
however
, we are living with technology perhaps the develops
goverment
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government
include some materials for pupils that should teacher educate to
inhance
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enhance
the
guality
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quality
of teaching.
inconclusion
Change preposition
In inconclusion
show examples
,the communities
aware
Add a missing verb
are aware
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
opiting
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operating
opting
this
feild
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field
. it can
be prevent
Change the verb form
be prevented
show examples
by allowing extra benefits and implementing strict
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
in
shcools
Correct your spelling
schools
.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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