Traditional games are more useful than modern games in developing children’s skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#games #children’s #skills

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Many scientists asserted that

games

Use synonyms

are inevitable in human-being and playing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

games

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is very important.

However

Linking Words

, with changing

games

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' types along to time passing, some people believe that traditional

games

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are better than modern

games

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about

Change preposition

for

show examples

enhancing

children

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's ability.

Also

Linking Words

, I agree that

old

Correct article usage

the old

show examples

one is better than these days' one because traditional

games

Use synonyms

influence more positive ways with

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

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than modern

games

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. Old

games

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are more helpful to

children

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than recent

games

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. Actually, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

modern

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the modern

show examples

games

Use synonyms

have been progressed using mobile devices, which are already utilized by

young

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the young

show examples

generation in many situations like studying and working. It is clear that mobile facilities

such

Linking Words

smartphone

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smartphones

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and

computer

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computers

show examples

affect badly

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apply

show examples

childrens' health. Using too much time on mobile

games

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can make

children

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Change the verb form

apply

show examples

have

disabilties

Correct your spelling

disabilities

like decreasing eyesight, obesity, and

obessions

Correct your spelling

obsessions

Therefore

Linking Words

, modern

games

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have a lot of side effects on

children

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's health.

However

Linking Words

, traditional

games

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usually lead

children

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to move their

body

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bodies

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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and have deep relations to sports.

Thus

Linking Words

, doing old

games

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can improve young people's physical health compared to modern ones.

Also

Linking Words

children

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can make their friends and build

active

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an active

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friendship

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friendships

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

interacting directly exercising together. While enjoying the sports in

group

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the group

a group

show examples

, they can build many skills like how to interact with similar ages, how to move their body, and improving leadership. In conclusion, I believe traditional

games

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moving their body with fellow are more helpful for

children

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's development in physical aspects. The child who

enjoy

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enjoys

show examples

games

Use synonyms

that have long history tend to grow healthier and make a good relationship with

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a friend

show examples

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

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than

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

didn't.

Submitted by leeyubin6320 on Tue Feb 15 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Traditional games are more useful than modern games in developing children’s skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway line for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both themanyse views and give you own opinion

ome people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

You have just moved to a new place. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter. -tell him/her you moved and why you moved -describe the new place -invite your friend to visit and suggest what to do.