Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are marries or single. some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The debate around whether it is a moral behaviour if people are asked about their personal data
such
Linking Words
as marriage conditions for employment or not has raged on
many
Change preposition
for many
show examples
years. I, for one, reckon that it is essential for companies to know their employees as much as they can.
This
Linking Words
essay delves into the issue and provides logical reasons before drawing a conclusion. On the one hand, supporters of the idea of enquiring the personal information believe that items
such
Linking Words
as age,
religon
Correct your spelling
religion
, marriage status as well as pastimes would show how much a person is well-rounded even show other aspects of personality traits.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
a person who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
yoga for a leisure activity would have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher endurance,
flexbility
Correct your spelling
flexibility
and patience, while a person who is a painter would
difinitely
Correct your spelling
definitely
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
better imagination.
Thus
Linking Words
all these items of
characterstic
Correct your spelling
characteristic
could have direct
inpacts
Correct your spelling
impacts
on the level of productivity, concentration and
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
which all of them are so crucial for
sucess
Correct your spelling
success
at a job.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people believe getting personal data is
compeletely
Correct your spelling
completely
opposite the privacy and other factors should be taken into consideration during
Add an article
an interview
the interview
show examples
interview
Fix the agreement mistake
interviews
show examples
for two key reasons. Mainly, they highlight that it is more vital to find out how much
a
Change the article
an
show examples
interviewee has worked in his/her area of expertise in preference to whether he/she is single or married.
Moreover
Linking Words
, individuals have bad personal circumstances
such
Linking Words
as being divorced and questioning about them results in their
embarrasement
Correct your spelling
embarrassment
. According to statistics which have been published by the New York Times magazine in 2020, approximately 40 per cent of interviewees feel stressed out while they are being asked about their personal information. Having taken all into consideration, as far as I am concerned, it is not a bad idea to ask
personal
Change preposition
for personal
show examples
information as it would have profound impacts on the job.
Submitted by parinaznoruzi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: