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Band 3

All education (primary, secondary and further education) should be free to all people and paid and managed by the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement

#education #people #government
It is often claimed that authority should be paid and
handled
Wrong verb form
handle
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free of cost
Add a hyphen
free-of-cost
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 schooling services for all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of society. I confidently support
with
Change preposition
apply
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this
 viewpoint. My preference is explained
further
. The fundamental argument I shall put forth is that many families can't afford educational expenditures. In
India
Add a comma
India,
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 people still do not aware
with
Change preposition
of
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 the importance of learning in their lives
this
 is
due to
 low standard of living unemployment and poor
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
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 balance.they can't send children
into
Change preposition
to
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institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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it is
priority
Add an article
a priority
the priority
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of
Change preposition
for
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administration
Correct article usage
the administration
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 to give them
education
Correct article usage
an education
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 at no extra cost. To add to the mentioned point for the progress of a nation and higher level of economy.
In other
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 many countries around the world
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
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 primary secondary
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
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 university education without any charges and
this
 is applied after the birth of
child
Add an article
a child
the child
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.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 particular
nation
Change noun form
nation's
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 development but
also
for
Change preposition
to
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 the built economy.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it should not be overlooked that individual
uses
Change the verb form
use
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money
Add an article
the money
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of
Change preposition
from
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 government
schoolership
Correct your spelling
scholarship
 in their personal investment. If the central power will be granted funds to the public
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
this
 money would
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 various other things by people
instead
 of
academic
Add an article
the academic
an academic
show examples
department
Fix the agreement mistake
departments
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. To close the discussion it can be eventually stated that
state
Correct article usage
the state
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 should provide educational facilities free for
population
Correct article usage
the population
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this
 can
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
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poor
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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as well as
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 progression. I believe that every nation's government
hand
Fix the agreement mistake
hands
show examples
 over free teaching for certain
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of students or until primary level.
Submitted by ghorivinas64 on

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task response
Address the task with more clarity and develop the arguments in a more structured manner.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of the essay with smoother transitions between paragraphs and reinforce the introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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