IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level off sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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food
items
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 and beverages that are available in the markets contain large amounts of sugars. Unfortunately , consuming these
products
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 with high sugars lead to multiple health issues.
Furthermore
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 , To minimise the effects , there is an argument to
increase
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 the cost of these sugary
products
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. Since there will be fewer sales for these bad
products
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 and there will be fewer non-communicable diseases with
this
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 measure , I strongly agree with the notion that has been given .
Firstly
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 , when we consider these sugary
products
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 , people love to eat these
products
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 without any limit.
Furthermore
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 , when someone consumes a large amount of these
foods
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 , they are invariably prone to develop uncommunicable diseases like diabetes and hypertension .
For instance
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 , a recent survey done in American universities has found , the main cause of diabetes in adults is the consumption of a large amount of sugar during their early life.
Therefore
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 , we have to control the eating of these sugary
foods
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 as much as possible .
Secondly
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 , when we consider , how to prevent the eating of these sugary
foods
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 , there are multiple ways .
However
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 , one of the practical ways is by increasing the prices of these
foods
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. As we
increase
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 the price the community will think two times before they buy it.
For example
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 , recent research done by an Indian university has found , the consumption of sugary
items
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 has reduced by 50% after the government
increase
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 the taxes for these
foods
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 . In conclusion , The unlimited usage of
foods
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 that contain high levels of sugar will lead to multiple health-related problems. By the way , by increasing the prices of these sugary ,
items
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 we can easily discourage the community who frequently use them. Since
then
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 ,
this
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 writer has strongly suggested to the governments to
increase
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 the taxes for these food
items
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 to bring down their consumption .

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sugar consumption
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • encourage
  • expensive
  • reduce
  • effectively
  • discourage
  • tight budget
  • purchasing
  • disproportionately
  • lower-income individuals
  • healthier food choices
  • demand
  • regardless
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