IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Government should fund scientific research rather than commercial organisations. To what extend do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#government #fund #research #organisations
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The diagram illustrates 100
years
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 distribution of people aged 65 and over between the
USA
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,
Sweden
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 and
Japan
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. Overall,
Japan
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 starts with the lowest percentage of distribution and will end as the highest in 2040 while the
USA
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 is the highest at the beginning of 1940 and is predicted to be the least at the end of the period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the proportion of elderly people started at exactly 5% in
Japan
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, it,
however
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, dropped steadily for the
first
Linking Words
 10
years
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 and remained constant at 3% for about 12
years
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. From there, it rose gradually until it reached 10%. The distribution of old people in
Japan
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 is expected to rise sharply from 10% in 2030 to more than 25% in 2040.
Moreover
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,
Japan
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 is
also
Linking Words
 predicted to overtake
Sweden
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 and
USA
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although
Linking Words
 it started on a low note.
USA
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 and
Sweden
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 proportion started at below 10% in 1940 but increased steadily for the
first
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 20
years
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. From there, they both decreased again before the year 2000.
Sweden
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 ,
however
Linking Words
, overtook the
USA
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 from below 15% to 20% and is predicted to be the
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second
show examples
secon d
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second
show examples
 highest in 2040.
On the other hand
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, the
USA
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 remained
costant
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constant
 for a few
years
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 and peaked though it is assumed to be the
last
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 in 2040.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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