IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
Although
 humanity reached a big point in cultivation,
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
amount
 of
people
 still starves. The main purpose of
this
 essay
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 explain why it happens and how to overcome
this
 issue. Human achievements around the world
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been reached by hardworking and they were mostly not related to poor
people
.
Furthermore
, that kind of
people
 generally cannot gain food due to their financial condition.
Nevertheless
, that
amount
 of agriculture usually may be aimed to be
Correct your spelling
buoyed
buried
buyed
Correct your spelling
bought
show examples
 by
people
 who can let it themselves.
For instance
, a lot of vegetation grows in poor countries, but are exported to other rich countries, which often eat a lot and have a lot of money.
However
, some issues can be caused by
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 situation, like
little
Add an article
a little
show examples
amount
 of incomes or big taxes. It can lead to
way
Add an article
a way
the way
show examples
 of thinking of that
people
 and force them
save
Add the particle
to save
show examples
 money more.
Moreover
, economic troubles
also
 welcome
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
indigency. To get rid of poverty and hunger humanity could try to share food with
indigent
Add an article
the indigent
show examples
. Lack of
people
 communication is only going to proceed that.
Thus
 by basic
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 in exportation and
inportation
Correct your spelling
importation
information
 food can be delivered into even deserts.
In addition
, scientists
knay
Correct your spelling
know
 coin new methods how to expand agriculture,
instead
 of improving it at one location.
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 measures are probably the
nost
Correct your spelling
most
 convenient and can be done briefly.
Therefore
 for nane
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 could be
a good advice
Remove the article
good advice
a piece of good advice
a bit of good advice
show examples
 to donate some resources for dealing with that and it can reduce
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of hunger around the world. In conclusion, reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 issue are
perhabs
Correct your spelling
perhaps
 economic troubles and financial condition, which are considered as a huge obstacle.
However
, humanity can overcome
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that, if they donate a bit and expand
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of agriculture.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
Look at other essays: