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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The Plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment
The plans show the layout of a school’s
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 centre now, and after
rebuild
Wrong verb form
rebuilding
show examples
,
how
Correct word choice
what
show examples
 it will look like. Overall, now, the university’s
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 2 outdoor courts, changing room, gym, seating 25m
pool
 and reception.
On the other hand
, the future plans going to expand the size of the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and develop more facilities.
Firstly
, today, go
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the university’s
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center’s
Change the spelling
centre’s
show examples
 reception which is in the middle of the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, there has a 25m
pool
, and changing room is at the west of
this
pool
, on the north of
this
pool
 is
gym
Add an article
a gym
the gym
show examples
, at the east of
pool
 is
seating
Add an article
a seating
the seating
show examples
area
.
In addition
, there
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 2 2 outdoor courts
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides of the middle
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Secondly
, regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the future plan,
reception
Correct article usage
the reception
show examples
area
at
Add a missing verb
is at
show examples
 the same place but expand the size into a big lobby. It will redevelop
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
 shop and the cafe. There will have 2 little changing rooms at the corner of the southwest and southeast of the lobby. 25m
pool
, changing room,
seating
Add an article
the seating
show examples
area
 will keep the location,
by contrast
, gym
area
 will extend more place.
Furthermore
, 2 outdoor courts will
demolition
Add a missing verb
be demolition
show examples
, the sports hall, 2 dance studios will
be build
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
 at the west of the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
In addition
, at the east of the middle centre,
leisure
Correct article usage
a leisure
show examples
pool
 will
planning
Change the verb form
plan
be planning
show examples
 to construct.
Submitted by littlekongmy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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