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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that having a conversation on a mobile phone in a public or crowded place should be banned. Others feel that we should be able to talk wherever we like. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #conversation #phone #place
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In
21st
Change the article
the 21st
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 century there are many individuals that are arguing about punishment for those who is talking by
phone
Use synonyms
 in overcrowded or civil places. As for me, it is unclear why
people
Use synonyms
 are taking
this
Linking Words
 activity as a negative threat. These conversations may be vital for the person who is speaking or the fact that it is not forbidden in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most countries. In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
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 I will examine 2 supporting allegations that will clarify why public telephone talk will exist. As a matter of fact, articulating in public places are not disallowed by the law.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is possible for you to have a conversation outside where all
people
Use synonyms
 have access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are some public places where you are required to turn off your
phone
Use synonyms
 or leave it in
special
Add an article
a special
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 place.
For instance
Linking Words
, it can be
mosque
Correct article usage
a mosque
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 where
people
Use synonyms
 are praying for God. Since,
this
Linking Words
 area tends to act as a bridge between
religious
Add an article
the religious
a religious
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part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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 of society, phones and personal stuff will be stored in
special
Add an article
a special
the special
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room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is known that all these calls are not made to irritate or disrespect
people
Use synonyms
 around.
For
Change preposition
The
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the
time
Add a comma
,time
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 it is distinct conversations with different content
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
Linking Words
 they can be whether significant or pointless.
For instance
Linking Words
, my mom had constantly been phoning me during 7th grade. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 was
a
Correct article usage
the
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 worry of
Add an article
a parent
the parent
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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, now imagine what would happen if I did not pick
the
Change preposition
up the
show examples
phone
Use synonyms
. Mother would worry every single day just because she did not know where am I and when I will arrive. To sum it up, I am more likely to be on the side of those who
is
Change the verb form
are
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 against the idea
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 prohibitions of conversations via mobile devices in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public areas. In
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
 I have written that there could possibly be some important issues that
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be solved immediately,
thus
Linking Words
 mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 will be flexible in
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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