IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#developments #lives #people
It is irrefutable to say that, in today’s modern world,
people
 are more likely to become successful at young ages.
This
, henceforth, builds pressure on other young generations.
Consequently
, they put plenty of effort into work and fail to take care of other aspects of their
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. In the following paragraphs, both causes of these topics and some sensible solutions will be discussed in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
. Attempting to have a prosperous
life
, with high social status and be cognized from the overall public, make young
people
 put ultimate efficiencies on business parts.
People
 are willing to work hard all day and night, undermining their heaths in both mind and body, to deliver the foremost result for companies thinking that these performances will enhance the chance for them to get promoted or earned rewards.
Consequently
, they will have no time to look after other parts of
life
such
 as relationships and their health. These problems can be solved by many effective solutions. Workers need to strike a proper balance between working
life
 and personal
life
. They should prioritize the primary things that need to be done over others.
Furthermore
, making a daily
life
 schedule and following it strictly will help create a routine cycle and allocate your time in
proper
Add an article
the proper
show examples
 amount for each sector. To demonstrate, you should contribute one hour per day to exercise to keep healthy. In conclusion, most of the reasons that
people
 tend to focus solely on working are
Correct article usage
the goal
show examples
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
 to achieve career path advancement and earn a high income to support their families.
Thus
 they, sometimes, fail to take care of other things. Doing everything in routine and creating a timetable are sensible solutions that can help alleviate these problems.
Submitted by jetiya.chaimann on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: