Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world. What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.

There is a controversial statement over the subject
that
Change preposition
of
show examples
whether students should obtain some information related to food and how to make it or it is
Correct article usage
a completely
show examples
completely
Change the word
complete
show examples
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
of time and they should put their time
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
more valuable subjects. In
this
essay , I will look at both sides of the
arguments
Fix the agreement mistake
argument
show examples
and draw a conclusion. My opinion is
also
included. On the one hand , the majority of parents hold firmly to the belief that their children need to acquire some knowledge about cooking .
This
is mainly because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
to be informed of the quality and ingredients of certain foods and try to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
a healthy eating habits
Correct the article-noun agreement
healthy eating habits
a healthy eating habit
show examples
.
For example
,
instead
of choosing fast foods and high-calorie meals and snacks , learn to prepare
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
by themselves.
As a result
, they can make a hamburger with high-quality ingredients and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
healthy
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
like steaming or boiling to make the best out of it .
On the other hand
, others claim that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a broad range of valuable studies regarding medicine, physics,
mathematics
Correct word choice
and mathematics
show examples
which are far more necessary for people
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than cooking
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
should not
underestimate
Wrong verb form
be underestimated
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
For instance
, they argue that students can easily buy
ready-meals
Correct your spelling
ready meals
show examples
or their parents can bring healthy foods for them without bothering themselves to make food
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can save a lot of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
for studying important subjects. In conclusion ,
Although
some individuals encourage students to take part in cooking classes , others believe that it is a waste of time
subject
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for them and their task is to
persue
Correct your spelling
pursue
things that are more vital .In my point of
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
both sides of the
debates
Fix the agreement mistake
debate
show examples
are true to some extent and we need to pay attention to every
aspects
Change to a singular noun
aspect
show examples
of our life and
knowing
Wrong verb form
know that
show examples
cooking is as valuable as studying mathematics.
Submitted by mousavimina93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the task prompt and provides a balanced view of both sides of the argument. Make sure to include a clear opinion and support it with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a logical and coherent manner. Use transition words and cohesive devices to link your ideas together more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surge
  • productive activities
  • quality education
  • social media
  • peer pressure
  • economic disparity
  • disadvantaged backgrounds
  • legitimate means
  • inclusive education
  • mentorship
  • community policing
  • youth engagement
  • early intervention
  • constructive pathways
  • social services
  • at-risk families
  • root causes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: